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samuraipussy · 1 year ago

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See, this response I do understand and really appreciate, because we do indeed agree on a lot of things. Most of them, in fact. If you found my response to misinterpret what you were saying, it's due to how you worded the below:

You do have a lot of nuance in how you approach the topic and some of that nuance was missing from the original post, which did strongly imply that you think trans readings of the story (outside the acceptable pre-existing gender boxes recognised at the time) are in direct opposition to canon, historically inaccurate and/or disrespectful towards the source material and woc with those experiences. That is what I took issue with.

So I apologise for going in too hard if that was not your intention, but I did need to point out why I read it that way.

I also took it rather personally because, hey, I know Mizu's experience is not pure fiction because I am one of those non-western women who's had to crossdress for my survival growing up in a society dangerous to me. I am also trans and not a woman anymore. I don't appreciate the fandom-wide erasure and implication that this is a trans-exclusive experience or an experience that erases the womanhood central to it, or the amount of harassment, anon hate and suicide baiting directed at people like me in the fandom just for pointing out we exist. So if I sounded like a bitch, that might've been a factor. I'm sorry if the above was not what you were trying to say and I took it out on you.

Now to get onto what we do agree on, I do appreciate trying to provide the historical context and the reminder for everyone that no, people in edo-period japan would not be thinking about their gender or sexuality the way we do today, not with our words or in relation to everything else in their society.

I think part of where the breakdown of communication on this issue happens is the fact that "trans" in itself is an extremely wide umbrella term that can encompass a lot of concepts, including:

1. Transgender identities the way that they are widely viewed and understood in western countries today by the majority of the community or society at large.

2. The wider experience of someone who exists outside of the gender binary in any capacity. I think Mizu goes under this definition.

A lot of people use it in the first context towards historical figures, which is inaccurate, western-centric and does erase the plethora of experiences outside of our understanding today. So I do commiserate with the frustration and I agree entirely with everything you said.

I'd say it goes even further than queer identities/experiences. I wish we talked more about gender and sexuality at large, because we can't hope to even begin to understand how queer identities and experiences emerged at the time when the majority of people don't consider that the roles of (what we might call cis today) men and women were entirely different themselves. This is where you get issues like historical figures/characters who get called "gnc" by fandom even while fulfilling a perfectly normal gender-role in the time and culture they lived in, simply because it was different from what we consider normal of a man/woman today.

And even though I get frustrated with that too sometimes, I think it raises some other interesting points about how we use language to talk about historical/cross-cultural concepts and from what talks I've had with people in the field, it splits into two situations:

1. Someone who wouldn't have been considered queer at the time but we can read as queer by today's definitions, which is still worth talking about. I think Wakashu is a great example of this, where it's an accepted male gender role/subgender in the time they existed but would possibly be a queer identity today. Another one would be bisexuality as a practice in cultures and times when it was more or less the default, rather than an identity apart from the default.

2. Someone who was queer at the time but would not be so today because our gender roles and sexuality norms are completely different.

And the issue that I've seen expressed a lot is a failure in making it clear which way we are defining someone under the queer experience, especially doing so without providing the right context for how exactly that experience is queer. Because I think both perspectives are really valuable to analyse, if done correctly.

since my post about sexuality in bes took off, i've been thinking about making one about gender because people have been even more Chronically Western about that than anything. but the topic of gender has also been talked to death about this show.

still. i've yet to see a single person touch on the actual historical aspect of gender in this period of japan. (weeaboos where ARE yall??? i cannot be the only one left here jfc)

so, more below the cut.

okay. so. before westernization and christianity came in and obliterated and sanitized the culture, there were 3 recognized genders that i know of. there was possibly a fourth but my research only got me so far on that and i gave it up a long time ago. i'm gonna be talking about the 3 i do know about.

male and female were the obvious ones. aligns exactly how you think. cock and balls = male/man, vag and tits = female/woman. yes, there were many crossdressers of both genders. yes, there were people who by today's language and understanding would be considered trans. they, however, did not have these words nor have a need for them. you were either man or woman. or...

then there was a third, which was USUALLY but not always applied to adolescent males called wakashu. the closest thing you might refer it to is androgynous. earlier in edo period it was pretty much a catch-all for any adolescent male, but much later it became far more specific to the exceptional beauty of the young male. a wakashu was a sex icon, something to be desired and lusted after, so beautiful and alluring that even the most stoic and hardened samurai warrior could break and beg for their attention. and yes, we're talking about minors. wakashu were typically in the 6-17 age range. many delayed their coming-of-age ceremony (which would then make a wakashu a man) well into their 20s. and there are records of some who continued to identify as wakashu even into adulthood. a person could decide when it was time to move from wakashu to man, it wasn't so set in stone.

this time in japan did have a lot of strictness but there was also a whole hell of a lot of fluidity that was just so extremely normal for them. choosing to remain wakashu wasn't a big deal. want to go on to be a man? cool, congrats on all your man-related responsibilities now hurry up and find a wife. want to remain wakashu? cool, congrats on all the awesome sex you're gonna be having and the many things you'll be learning. either way was a good path. you were likely to have a bit more opportunities gaining power and land going forward as a man, but as wakashu you'd be expected to be an apprentice and learn more things from your teacher (while also sexually servicing him, extra bonus - most of the time.), so both had benefits. a samurai class wakashu, for example, would very likely go on to be a man since by nature of being samurai they have tons more opportunity. but a peasant wakashu would probably be more likely to remain wakashu and learn as much as possible and earn as much money as possible (since they were often prostitutes or performers as well).

so desirable were wakashu that sometimes female prostitutes tried to disguise themselves as one to attract more clients. they were often indistinguishable from women with their colorful and intricate kimono - sometimes the hairstyle was the only giveaway. and though the japanese didn't give a shit about the gender they were fucking, as i've covered before, true wakashu enjoyed a bit more freedoms with sex than did women pretending to be wakashu. like i mentioned in my previous post how they did have specific terms for who was giving and who was receiving in sex, certain aspects played into this. wakashu were expected to receive when with men, and expected to give with women. this would of course depend a little upon caste heirarchy too but that was the general gist of it. women on the other hand were expected to always receive. (and although straps were very much a thing, you'll find the double ended dildo far more popular amongst w/w relationships - at least in depictions. in reality it was probably an equal mix.)

the concept of wakashu has not entirely left japanese culture and has actually since been divvied up into the two aspects it represented: youth (shonen) and beauty (bishonen). hence why shonen manga and anime is so popular, why there are always always always bishonen prominent in manga and anime, why yaoi often has the strict dichotomy of uke and seme. and why shotac-n remains so wildly popular while the loli opposite has gradually declined with the introduction of censorship laws. the entire concept surrounding adolescent males is still very rooted in the role that the wakashu gender played until quite recent in history. (it formally ended in the meiji era, which was not that long ago.)

now with all of that said, where does mizu fall? she's still a woman. plain and simple. had she been born in late edo, she would have absolutely been considered an extraordinarily beautiful wakashu and lusted after constantly. people would be tripping over themselves to bed her. but being early edo that was not the case and she is still a woman having to disguise as a man in order to survive so she can fulfill her goal. that must be acknowledged. that is a key point that is brought up many times within the show. to ignore that fact is to erase who mizu is. she is masking as a man because she has been told since childhood being a woman would get her killed. because she has seen it far too many times how simply existing as a woman leads to a dead end. because she tried it and it turned out exactly as she was told. being a woman is not an option in her quest for revenge. if she weren't mixed race, though? i'd bet my left hand she would have embraced the hell out of wakashu and used it to her advantage. screw sex as an art, mizu would have made it a weapon. mizu wielding both a sword and the sexuality of wakashu would make her the deadliest thing in all of japan. however, that wasn't the case and we musn't ignore what is ths case. in her world, she is a woman forced to disguise as a man. period.

mizu by today's standard's is a whole different story, though. there is enough ambiguity that she can fit nearly any label you want to slap on her and that's fine. we have a lot more leniency with modern western terms. we have a huge spectrum of gender and you can toss her just about anywhere on it. you are all correct and incorrect simultaneously because any modern terminology applied to her is automatically headcanon. and just as i emphasized on my last post, headcanons, fics, AUs, ect, are exactly where these modern western ideals belong. it's awesome that she resonates with so many different gender identities - few characters in media can pull that off so well! yall should absolutely celebrate that! use her to express your gender euphoria! but do so while remembering who she is in canon. her canon experience is not pure fiction. there are still people in today's world that must disguise themselves out of necessity and quite often that ends up being women of color. there are people in living history who had to do that to survive.

you can respect the source material and also have your own unique headcanons and perspectives. both can be true.

#sorry for yet another long response but I do find the topic very interesting

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pcrfectstorms · 2 years ago

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if eddie was supposedly queer then what was "chrissy this is for you" lol

Oh little anon, when i tell you, you picked the WRONG bitch, I mean you picked the wrong bitch! firstly, cowardly to hide behind a grey face and not expose your blatant homophobia with your whole chest, but we move...

Let's take this in two parts, shall, we? Lets look at Stranger Thing's use of the word 'Freak' which from season one of the show has been used as a replacement for 'Fagg*t' the first instance being against Will Byers, when Joyce is reporting him missing and goes onto to explain to Hopper how Will's been bullied by his peers and his own father, where she explicitly uses the F slur to explain it, and from there it's been consistently used as a placeholder for it. Will is canonically confirmed gay by Noah, and to everyone else who knows how to read queer coding in his coming out scene to his brother in the pizza shop in volume 2. Eddie refers to himself on more than one occasion as a 'freak' - particularly in the boat house scene where he looks directly at Robin, a canonically confirmed lesbian and says to her, 'hunt the freak, right?' you can see the fucking pain in that boys face as he says it, and the gentle look Robin gives him in nodding, it's very clear to read that as them both having the understanding of what that meant, because while your little cishet brain may be incapable of critically reading subtext in media, us queers are very well versed at recognising our own, both on screen in queer coded storylines and off-screen in real life, and in this scene those two things meshed perfectly to demonstrate it.

Also, whether or not the nod to Queer Flagging was intentional or not, it was absolutely read that way by most of the Queer audience. Hanky Code was just one of the methods of Queer flagging that existed (and still exists today) which is predominantly used by Queer men (read: gay, bi, pan etc) to flag their sexual positions and interests at a time when it wasn't safe for them to be openly out without endangering their lives. Of course, bandana's were a big part of Metalhead culture too, but subcultures like metal, punk, etc, all these counter culture movements have a extensive and rich history of intersecting with the queer community. They are not mutually exclusive. Metal has massive ties to gender nonconformity and queerness, with bands like Judas Priest (who's lead singe Rob Halford was a gay man who came out in '98) who Eddie has a pin of on his battle vest, and while in '86 he wasn't out publicly, speculation about his sexuality had been around then too.

And all that is before we look at Joseph Quinns performance as Eddie and the little way in which he shamelessly flirted with both chrissy cunningham and steve harrington - which joe has confirmed at multiple convention panels that Eddie was flirting with Steve - he even, at the German con last weekend said that him and steve would have been a good fit, romantically.

BISEXUAL PEOPLE EXIST, PANSEXUAL PEOPLE EXIST. And if you can't see that not only are you homophobic, participating in bi/pan erasure but you're also just frankly fucking dumb.

And finally, if you think 'this is for you chrissy' meant he was somehow harbouring romantic feelings for her rather that he wanted to avenge for her murder you are delusional, and honestly giving Eddie ZERO respect if you honestly believe that it was because he fancied her and not because he was traumatized and guild ridden over not being able to do anything other than run away. This was him saying, I'm sorry Chrissy, I wish I could have saved you, but fuck it, your death won't be in vain we're going to save this goddamn town and burn the fucker who took your life.

I don't engage in ship wars, I don't give a fuck if you ship hellcheer, or steddie, or whatever other eddie ship, but i do give a fuck if you're going to come into my house and disrespect my son like this. DO BETTER.

#❛ shit talking ❜ [ ooc ]#sorry for the long rant my mutual pals but fuck me this anon PISSED me off #also to anon don't bother sending anymore they'll be deleted

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readyplayerhobi · 4 years ago

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Flower | 31

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff

; Word Count: 4.6k

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: Taken a while to get here, huh? Officially less than 10 parts now though! If you enjoyed it, please reblog this and leaves me some comments or send me an ask. It helps to encourage me to get the motivation to write again :)

; Flower Masterpost

“Ow,” You whimper, wincing as the stiff fingers of the masseuse dug into a knot in your muscles. “I thought massages were supposed to be relaxing?”

The snort to your left comes from Chungha. You’d look over, but you’d learnt that the person working on you didn’t like that. Instead, you were stuck staring down at the floor through a cutout in the table. It wasn’t even hugely comfortable in this position, lying on your front and feeling like you had more in common with a corpse than a person.

“Sure they’re relaxing; if they’re coming from your boyfriend. But a real massage is only relaxing after the fact. Getting knots out of your muscles isn’t the most pleasant experience, as you’ve discovered.” She points out, causing you to pout at the floor. The masseuse doesn’t have any input to give, and you presume he’s used to hearing things like this.

“They make it look nice on tv and film.” The whine in your voice is apparent even to you, causing you to feel a little hot with embarrassment. You’d been flustered enough to find out that you would have to be almost naked for this massage, the very idea of having your body seen by a man other than Hoseok unnerving you. Until you’d seen how completely uncaring he was.

Soyeon had pointed out to you quietly that he’d probably seen more women’s bodies than a hundred men combined by now. Which was probably right, given he looked around 40. It made you feel a little better, but you still felt a little uncomfortable. This massage had better make you feel unbelievably relaxed to make up for all this pain.

Of course, your comment simply couldn’t be left alone, and Soyeon lets out a laugh from your right. “Yeah, and they also make it seem like a woman orgasms from three pumps every time. Curse the people who think it’s okay to put that in films and shows. The number of men who don’t even try anymore.”

You feel a little embarrassed at the subject, even if you know that Soyeon has never been one to censor herself. You and Chungha were now proudly in the knowledge that not only was Jungkook also bisexual like Soyeon but that they’d had a rather delightful threesome with a guy who had been in one of Jungkook’s classes last year.

She’d relished talking about it, and you couldn’t even ask her to stop out of worry for Jungkook; you’d experienced the fact that they seemed to be made for each other when Jungkook happily discussed his sex life with Hoseok when he came over. If it weren’t for the fact that you’d quietly texted Soyeon to ask if she was okay with him doing that and received an enthusiastic ‘hell yes and please give him tips’, you’d have been mortified to hear it.

Even Hoseok had been bemused that day, giving you looks as Jungkook had described in detail how he’d gotten Soyeon to fuck him with a strap on. An image you most definitely did not need in your head of your best friend and someone who was becoming a close friend.

But again, it didn’t surprise you. Soyeon was always the most open sexually and believed that something so natural to humans should be celebrated and enjoyed. You just told yourself repeatedly that you were just happy she’d found love with someone who had the same interests and desires as her.

Plus, Jungkook was a complete sweetheart outside of his sexual interests.

Still, there was something mildly mortifying about her saying something so casually in such a public place. Sure, there was only the three of you in here alongside the masseuses, but the point still stands.

“Anyway,” Chungha says loudly, distracting the conversation away from whatever Soyeon might have been about to follow up with. “Have I told you that Dahyun and I are going to be moving in together? She asked me last night, and I said yes. And before either of you ask, we’re moving into her place. Being a trust fund baby must be awesome as that house is huge.”

You want to desperately sit up and look at her, shock on your face as your eyes widen in surprise. Things between Chungha and Dahyun had been going well obviously, but you hadn’t expected them to be going this well. Okay, that sounds bad, but you didn’t mean it like that. Just that they’d made this decision much faster than you’d decided with Hoseok.

But again, you had to remind yourself that there was no such thing as ‘normal’ when it came to relationships. Everyone worked at their own pace. Above all that, you were just happy for Chungha. You were satisfied that she’d found someone to love and was making steps towards a possible future with them.

“Oh my god! Congratulations, I’m so happy!” You say excitedly, your words overlapping with Soyeon’s equally enthusiastic comments. It’s only the pressure on your back from the masseuse that means you stay in position, recognising the subtle ‘stop moving bitch’. Pulling a face that no one can see, you force yourself to remain calm and relaxed.

“When are you going to move? You should get the guys to help; I’m sure they’d be happy to.” Snorting, you smile to yourself as you hear the certainty in Soyeon’s voice. She’d become a lot closer to Hoseok’s friends than you had, given her effervescent personality and you had no doubt that even if they complained, they’d be doing what she wanted.

Jungkook was the baby of their friend group, and none of them seemed to want, or like, Jungkook being sad. Denying his girlfriend help when she asked would be a surefire way to make the adorable pout come out, so you did not doubt that they would be making their way to Chungha’s to move stuff.

That included Hoseok. It was incredibly amusing to you how a group of fully grown men were all so whipped for another grown man. Just because he had sweet eyes and the cutest whine. On second thoughts, you too would do anything Jungkook wanted to make sure he didn’t get upset.

How on earth Soyeon managed, you didn’t know.

“I can’t offer up help because Yeonnie has just done that, but I can like...help decorate or something. Even if Dahyun has been living there for a while, so I don’t know. Or maybe I can just be like moral support?” You were probably better for moral support. From what Chungha had told you before, you knew that Dahyun had been living in her ridiculously beautiful house since she finished college.

It had been a present from her parents for graduating, which completely blew your mind. Hoseok’s parents were very wealthy, but Dahyun’s were the kind that made your eyes widen when you saw what they considered a reasonable purchase.

Thankfully though, Dahyun was a sweet and kind girl who hadn’t turned out nearly as spoilt as she could have been. Instead, she’d started work at a low position at the broadcasting agency she worked at and was working her way up slowly. You liked her. And you would like her for however long she remained a good, loyal girlfriend to Chungha. That was your main concern as one of her best friends.

There was no doubt in your mind that both your best friends held the same opinion when it came to Hoseok. If he made one wrong move, then their ruthless side would come out. It’s what friends are for, after all.

“That’s fine. Dahyun has said that we can decorate the whole place, so it suits both of us instead of looking like her bachelorette place. Which I’m glad about because I fucking hate the kitchen. Why she let them paint it mint green, I don’t know. But I can’t stand it.” Chuckling, you try not to move too much so that you won’t annoy the man kneading your back.

“Does she...know your opinion on the kitchen? I mean...it’s her kitchen.”

“Yeah, but it was fucking ugly. She knows and doesn’t mind. Her mom was the one who had the place decorated at first, which explains why it looks like an interior designer's wet dream and has all the soul of my grandmother. That’s none, by the way. She’s a soulless husk of a woman sent by Satan, I’m sure. Dahyun is excited to get a choice in the decorating so...couple bonding, right?” You can hear the gentle note of confusion along with quieter uncertainty.

“I wouldn’t know, never lived with someone before. Y/N? As the only person here who has lived with a partner, is it normal to redecorate when moving in together?” Soyeon’s voice sounds curious, and you have a moment to wonder at it yourself.

The fact that you, out of all three of you, were the one who was now officially the most experienced in a relationship was bizarre. Not something you’d ever thought would happen. But then again, Chungha and Soyeon had been in longer relationships but hadn’t ever taken that next step; usually, because those relationships had petered out very quickly.

Still, you make noise without realising as you think. Scrunching your brow, you twist your lips and shrug, even though neither of them can see you.

“I mean...I don’t know? We redecorated everything, but that’s because we moved into a new place together. It’s not like he moved in with me or anything so like we had to. It doesn’t matter anyway, why are we talking about this? It’s not important! What’s important is that you’re happy. Happy enough to move in together!”

You’re pleased that the attention leaves you quickly when Soyeon agrees cheerfully, giving a few thoughts as to what colour scheme they could go for instead of whatever Dahyun has now. It makes you think about your kitchen. You and Hoseok had decorated it before actually moving in so that everything was ready, deciding on a more neutral scheme.

As a result, the cabinets on the walls and the countertops were a dark walnut while the units on the floor were an off white, all with rustic style handles. It was easy to understand Chungha’s excitement about being able to go wild with her new home; you’d enjoyed being able to turn the house into something that would become your home with Hoseok.

To say that you’d felt closer with him after that was an understatement. You felt like you’d been able to understand Hoseok a little better, getting to see into his mind and how he thought. Even though he’d mainly just let you decide on everything, he had given plenty of options, and you’d made sure to keep his opinions in mind when picking.

There was no chance for you to give this advice though as the massage finally ended and the three of you were left alone in the room. Wrapping the towel around yourself tightly, you stretched carefully and let out a small sound of wonder as you felt almost no tension in your muscles.

“You were right; I do feel good. Oh my god. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this relaxed before.” You almost purr, smiling at the other two. Soyeon accidentally flashes the two of you when she opens her towel to readjust it, revealing a slim and toned body that causes a small flash of envy within. But you push that thought away. The last thing you wanted was to get insecure over your own best friend.

Besides, she worked hard for her body. You were proud of her for it.

“Told you so. You should get one regularly; I promise that you won’t regret it,” Stretching her arms into the air, Soyeon grins at you before bringing one arm to her face, smelling the slightly shiny skin of her bicep. “And it leaves you smelling all nice too. If a tiny bit oily.”

“Yeah, I’m not really into the oily feeling.” You murmur, wrinkling your nose as you run your finger along your arm. The pad your fingertip slides easily, the massage oils that had been applied and carefully rubbed into your skin still a little slick. Though she was right, it did smell nice.

“Anyway, come on, you two. Let’s get our robes on and get these nails sorted! I’ve been dying for a pedicure for ages but held off when you invited me to this.” Chungha laments, lifting one delicate foot and wiggling her toes while she scowls at them. Chuckling, you follow along to the next item on your spa day itinerary, enjoying the fact you were spending time with your best friends while also pampering yourself.

“There’s not even four trillion bears on Earth, so how the hell would they manage to get to the sun?” The lakeside view is particularly beautiful right now, with the vibrant colours of sunset kissing the tops of the lush green trees that surround the crystal clear lake. Oranges clashed with reds before sinking into sultry pinks, mixing in a beautiful image that mirrors on the lake top.

It was almost pretty enough that you wouldn’t even realise the comment that had just been made by Jungkook. The only ones who’d come for this weekend break outside of you, Hoseok and the girls were Jungkook, Jimin, Yoongi and Taehyung. Eden, Jimin’s fiancée, had to work a weekend shift and Namjoon was too busy with his kid and wife. You weren’t quite sure what Seokjin’s excuse was, to be honest.

All of the guys were currently sitting on the sandy beach that made up this end of the lake. It was entirely human-made and now and then there were fire pits and sectioned logs in circles for people to use. Unsurprisingly though, no one was sitting on one of those uncomfortable logs.

Instead, they were all sitting around on the sand with various brands of beer bottles stuck upright around them. They’d piled their empty bottles together into one of the beer boxes in an attempt to keep everything clean, and you nodded to yourself absentmindedly in approval at them keeping the space tidy.

“Fucking hell,” You hear Hoseok mutter, his colourfully tattooed arm on show as he rubs at his forehead. “It’s like I’m at home. This is something I end up talking about with Y/N.”

“Well, she’d be right. It’s an important question. The sun wouldn’t be able to fight off that many bears.” Jimin slurs slightly, his eyes squinting at the others and you realise he’s probably sauntering his way past tipsy and into a straight-out drunk. It explains why his question is said entirely seriously, and you can’t help the chuff of laughter that leaves you as you flop down into the sand beside your boyfriend.

He blinks at you for a moment as you run your fingers through his hair, the strands still a little wet from where he’d been in the lake earlier before he smiles at you sweetly. There’s a slight glaze to his eyes, and you recognise that he’s not drunk yet but instead just having a good time.

“He’s right; it’s an important question. However, the main problem here is that even with four trillion bears, the sun is still a giant ball of gas that’s on fire and is superheated to temperatures we can’t even comprehend. So, unfortunately, the bears would all die. Now, what we need to be doing is questioning how we can destroy the sun by cooling it?” You state, leaning against Hoseok’s body and enjoying the warmth from both him and the fire in the chill evening.

“Meeps, no...please no.” Hoseok whines softly, his chest vibrating against you and you laugh as you kiss his chin. He’s not being mean or anything; it’s just that he hears these kinds of conversations all the time with you. And he knows full well that once you start, you will happily keep talking until the topic ends up so bizarre that you’ll give even yourself a headache.

“Look,” Taking pity on him, you instead lean your head against his shoulder and flare out your fingers so he can see how pretty your nails look after your manicure. “They’re so nice until I bite them again and smell me! I smell so good, and I’m sooo relaxed.”

Chuckling, he takes care to make the right noises to you as he takes in the sight of your perfectly designed fingernails before having an obligatory sniff of your skin. A nod of approval is given to you before he wraps his arm around you, pulling you in even closer to his warmth. It’s beautiful and peaceful, with the soft sound of the waves lapping at the shore making an excellent background beneath the talk of everyone else.

Jungkook is currently in the process of pouting as Soyeon shows him her nails, her smile so pretty and her eyes so bright with happiness as he whines that he wants a manicure too. It makes you feel happy in turn to know that she’s content with herself and her relationship right now. She’d always been the wilder one out of you all.

“What have you guys been doing anyway?” You ask, the question louder than you intended and catching the attention of the others. Jimin goes to gesture towards you, only he’s not quite got the aim right, and he also doesn’t seem to realise he has a bottle in his hand.

As a result, half of the beer tips out and sloshes into the fire pit, the alcohol burning fiercely for a moment as his eyes widen and his lips form an ‘o’ shape of surprise. Yoongi snorts in amusement before carefully taking the bottle and placing it down next to him, looking over at you with long-suffering expression.

“We went quad biking earlier, and then we’ve just spent the afternoon in the lake. Swimming, fucking around. Even gotta go jet skiing. Your man made a rather spectacular re-entry into the lake. He can’t jet ski.” There’s a twinkle to Yoongi’s eyes as he glances over at Hoseok and you look up, your boyfriend's cheeks darkening slightly.

“'Apparently he can't jet ski'. Oh, I'm sorry. I must've missed that lesson in high school. What are you? A fucking Kardashian?” He mutters, lips puckering into a sweet pout and you giggle. Reaching forward, you accept the bottle of water that Chungha passes you from the blue cooler that had one of them had brought from one of the cabins you were all staying.

“With your parents and that education you had, I’m surprised you didn’t.” The snapback from Yoongi is quick, but you can tell he isn’t harsh. His small smile gives that away, and you can tell that Hoseok isn’t offended or anything. He’s way too relaxed against you.

“Sorry, between my fencing lessons and the lacrosse there just wasn’t enough time to fit the jet skis. Busy schedule, you know?” Snorting, you push at his side lightly while rolling your eyes. Everyone else seems to find his witty quip just as amusing, and there’s a wave of laughter that spreads around the others as they enjoy his easy-going comments.

Taking a sip of water, you relish the coolness of it and let out a small hum of appreciation. Hoseok hears you and looks over with a raised brow, lips quirking on one side before gesturing for him to have a drink. Without a word, you lift it to his mouth and carefully let him take a drink.

At least he was having something other than alcohol. Maybe you could even get him sober before bed if you tried hard enough.

“Ewww, you’re spreading germs.” Taehyung says quietly, his face wrinkled in disgust as he watches the two of you. Lifting a brow of your own at him, you can’t help but laugh at his reaction, mainly when Hoseok gives him a disbelieving stare of his own.

“You’re...that’s what you’re worried about? I don’t think a bit of shared germs between a couple is that big of a deal.” He mutters, rolling his eyes ever so slightly before accepting another drink when you lift the bottle back up to his mouth once more.

“It’s just...a bit gross.” The currently blonde-haired man pouts, crossing his arms over his chest and making his remarkably broad shoulders look incredibly small suddenly. You could tell he was a little embarrassed given the soft blush over his beautiful, golden cheeks.

Still, it makes Hoseok look at him with more than a little disbelief. Enough that it’s got everyone else giggling quietly as they have the same thought process that Hoseok is having.

“Tae...we’ve shared germs many times when kissing. If this shocks you,” He pauses dramatically. “Wait until you hear what we’ve done in the bedroom. You’ll be scandalised.” His words are so serious that you have to bite your lip to stop yourself from snickering, instead of cuddling closer into Hoseok’s firm warmth.

“Stop teasing him.” You mumble, pressing a small but loving kiss to his impressive jawline. Before you get any further, Jimin starts to make some loud comments. What they are, you’re not quite sure because he’s slurring even worse. Yoongi sighs deeply and stands, lifting the drunk man and holding him steady as he sways.

“I think that’s our cue to end the night here everyone. I’ll take Jimin back if you guys clean up here?” Everyone nods in acknowledgement, watching for a moment as Jimin staggers ahead of Yoongi up the small sandy beach. Chewing on the skin inside your mouth, you frown in concern at the slight figure.

“Does he always get this drunk?” It’s asked quietly, but everyone hears over the crackling fire as they shake their head negatively.

“Not always, it’s just because we’re away and he has no responsibilities. He likes a good drink now and then. Or a good night of drinking I guess it would be. Don’t worry; he also doesn’t suffer hangovers.” Taehyung states, leaning back against one of the legs and stretching with a groan.

“Asshole.” Hoseok mumbles quietly, causing you to grin. You knew very well that Hoseok got hangovers, the poor man. Shaking your head in amusement at the memory, you stand up and carefully brush off any annoying sand before looking around at everyone.

“Come on then, let’s clean up. I want to see how good of a sleep I can get now I’m all relaxed.” Exaggeratedly rolling your shoulders, you smile as you manage to make them all laugh before they finally bring themselves to stand up as well.

It takes no time at all to clean up the small area that the guys have been occupying for a few hours now. The recyclable bottles are split into plastic and glass and disposed of in the appropriate bins nearby. At the same time, Jungkook puts the fire out carefully, making sure that there are no lingering embers that might cause it to spark.

Hoseok is carrying the cooler, now obviously lighter given the way he playfully lifts it like he’s at the gym. Though it could be heavy, he has been working out a lot lately. He likes the relief it gives him and helps him to destress.

Perhaps most surprisingly, you’ve been going with him. You still hate the knowledge that he’s seeing you all super sweaty, stinky and gasping for breath. Surprisingly though, you often feel quite invigorated with him there. Like he’s some barrier to any of the negativity that might be thrown your way by others.

It was probably silly. But you’d told him plenty of times that he made you feel safe, and that included being in an environment that had historically made you unhappy and self-conscious. There was something different about being there with someone who found you attractive anyway.

“Getting my gains for the day,” Hoseok smirks, letting out an exaggerated ‘oof’ of effort as he lifts and lowers the cooler. “Can’t forget arm day, even on vacation.”

Watching him for a moment, you shake your head before letting your smile take over. You’d discovered over the past year and a half that it was impossible not to be endeared by him. Somehow, he always found the right thing to say to make you smile.

It made being annoyed over something he’d done very frustrating because you’d regularly find yourself laughing at him. But at the same time, you loved that about him. He knew that you were easily lured into a negative headspace and that you didn’t like confrontation, so he always tried to keep things positive for you.

“Come on, Popeye, I’m hungry. They only had rabbit food at the spa. Which is great because it’s healthy and everything, which I’m all for. But I’m on a mini-vacation. I don’t wanna eat lettuce and cucumber. I wanna eat greasy crap that I will regret for a solid week after.” Whining, you slip around to his other side and link your fingers together with his free hand.

“You’re gonna complain to me in five days that you’ve put on some invisible weight.” His voice takes on a sing-song note as he teases you, causing you to poke at his side while glaring at him.

“That’s a problem for us in five-days, it’s not a problem for us now. Right now, I want some damn pizza or something. Do we have pizza in the cabins? Or can we order some?” Peppering the questions at him, he shakes with laughter slightly before tugging at your hand until you’re facing him.

Playfully, you avoid his affection as he tries to kiss you, causing him to whine quietly every time you shift back. Grinning at him, you take him in for a moment and simply pause, your heart warming with love as you see the sad pout on your tall, tattooed and pierced 29-year-old boyfriend. He’s got a slight tan from the day’s activities, the sun still strong enough as the year eases to autumn.

Giving in, you simply hold still when he leans slightly towards you. Upon seeing you’re not pulling away this time, he’s a little more forceful and presses a short but sweet kiss to your lips. It’s probably not what anyone would have expected given how much he’d been trying just now, but it was enough for you.

“Hey! Stop sucking face and come here already! Jungkook ordered enough pizza to empty Naples for us from some local pizza place so hurry up.” Soyeon’s shout interrupts you both, causing you to look over to where she’s standing on the porch of the cabin you’re sharing with her and Jungkook.

Grinning brightly, you nod and give her a thumbs-up as she stands with her hands on her hips, no doubt glaring at you both for being so far behind everyone else and wasting time. However, she should be okay with it all really, given what you knew about Jungkook and her.

“Sometimes, I think you and Kook are the same person. You’re far too similar.” Hoseok whispers, kissing your forehead affectionately before beginning to walk towards the cabin once more. Looking at him, you raise a brow and tilt your head in silent questioning.

“Food on the mind.”

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liron-ao3 · 3 years ago

Text

Valid

Dean sets the moving box on their new dining table.

Their.

It still feels strange to say and think that. But this is their house. Castiel's and his. Fully furnished, a back garden with a bee-friendly meadow, and a huge garage at the front for Baby and whatever eco-friendly monstrosity his partner will be able to talk him into.

They fixed this house for months, working with their bare hands, sweating ridiculously, stealing kisses in between. They have been the best months of Dean's life, and even though his joints creak just a little more now and his knee is acting up like a bitch, Dean wouldn't change it for the world.

It's a house to be filled with memories. A home, like maybe only the bunker ever was to Dean. It's full of things, some shiny and new, some old, given a second life. Just like them.

Dean has never owned so many things before. Even in his year with Lisa. He had always known that he was only a guest in her life. He lived in her house, loved her son, mowed her lawn. Maybe that would have changed over time. Maybe a year is simply not enough to create an 'ours' from 'mine' and 'yours'.

It's their house already though, even though they are only moving in today.

Dean opens the box that holds the few things he might call his own forever, though. Like the picture of him and his mum before she died. Well, the first time when he was a kid. There are bits and bobs, knick-knacks picked up on the road, too. A tiny drawing that a little girl made for him after he saved her and her parents on a solo hunt. It's yellowed and crinkled. He smiles at it. That had been one of the good days.

Some pieces remind him of the women he used to love. A ring that he had meant to give Cassie more than a decade ago. He doesn't even know why he kept it. Maybe as a reminder? Of what, he isn't so sure. Maybe that someone once loved him, simply for being himself. It's a fucked-up, twisted way of thinking, but well. He's Dean Winchester, after all. Not the best boyfriend material.

He looks up and through the wide windows that give the impression of the garden reaching into their living room. He watches Castiel for a long moment, the way his shoulders twitch as the angel seems to be in deep conversation with a hummingbird. Dean huffs a laugh. Castiel is a weird little bean, avenging angel and little puppy cramped into an unfitting trench coat. At least, his boyfriend owns more clothes now. He simply wears it out of nostalgia.

It's still hard to believe that this man wants to be his, saw his very soul and fell in love with it. Dean still struggles, but he's tired of running away from himself, from love in the fear of losing it. Castiel is his best friend and the third love of his life. Hopefully the last.

Dean has slept with many, girls, guys, and non-binary people. It didn't matter. There only had to be the sparkle, the special tension that pulls two bodies together until they collide in an explosion of passion, fast-burning, the flame already extinct come morning.

It was all he thought he deserved. Everyone who stayed with a Winchester was destined to die for them. He can count the women in his life that didn't die through Chuck's stupid games on one hand.

Dean clicks the ring box open. He hopes that Cassie is happy with whatever bastard is blessed enough to have her at his side. She still holds a special place in Dean's heart. And he loves that he can talk about her with Castiel, that there is no jealousy, just happiness that Dean once had someone who loved him, and grief that it wasn't meant to be.

Like with Lisa. But that was different. Dean still doesn't know what he loved more—her or the idea of loving her, the version of himself that he was at her side. It doesn't matter now. Castiel made all their pictures disappear, along with the memories in her and Ben's heads. He left one photograph of their little family on Dean's pillow, though. The one he crammed into his duffle bag and put into his bedside drawer in the bunker.

Leaving Lisa and Ben had hurt like a bitch. And Castiel held him after a nightmare in which Dean dreamt they were taken by vampires. He had been so angry at him, shouting that it was all his fault. And Castiel had looked at him with sad eyes, saying, "I know."

But he was wrong. Dean knows it wasn't anybody's fault. Both of them tried to do the right thing. Even Castiel as he watched him raking the leaves and decided to let him go. Out of love, even though Castiel didn't have the word for this emotion back then.

Dean runs his fingers through the items that he only spilt from the drawer in a rush, already too late because of a hunt popping up. Castiel didn't comment on his tardiness. Dean knows that he worries about losing him. He can see it in his eyes, every time he needs to heal him. But Dean is worried about him, too. He has seen him die too many times. Castiel may be an angel, but he's far from invincible.

Dean stops still when he touches a small magnet, nestled between a soldier figure he played with growing up on the backseat of the Impala, and a flyer for a wedding venue that was haunted by a ghost before he and Castiel banished it. He took the leaflet, just in case. It's stupid, of course. He's officially dead and he won't marry Jimmy Novak. No way! And it's not as if he would think about marriage, or giving kids made orphans by the supernatural a home or something.

He takes the magnet and looks at it. It's bent a little, the colours slightly chapped. But the pink, purple, and blue are still recognisable. He got it many years ago when he stumbled into a pride event hunting a werewolf.

"So, what letter of the alphabet are you?" a gum bubble making twink had asked him, scanning him from head to toe, sending a rush of endorphins through Dean, better than the one after killing the rogue wolf half an hour earlier.

"B," Dean had said, flashing him his most winsome smile. He had never said it out loud before that moment. Why define who you are if you only share a bed for one night?

Sam had been surprised when he and Castiel got together. Eileen much less so. Maybe because she had known it all along, kindred souls and all that crap.

A smile tugs on the corner of Dean's lips, and he looks up from the magnet to the garden again. Castiel is standing on their porch, watching him with a soft, close-lipped smile.

"Creepy," Dean calls, heat rising into his cheeks. He's still not used to being looked at like this. With so much love and devotion. Castiel said he had to learn to live with it. Dean's trying, but as of yet, it still makes him squirm. But in a good way.

"Mind if I put these on the fridge?" He holds up the photographs and the drawing with a questioning, vulnerable look.

Castiel smiles even wider. "Of course. They're all family."

Dean takes out a breath, feeling like he hasn't drawn air for days. He nods, walks to the kitchen, and fixes the items with magnets on the fridge. Then he looks at the three-coloured magnet in his hand. He may not really have hidden his sexuality, but he didn't show it proudly either. Maybe it's time for it now.

He bends it so that it is plane again, and presses it under the pictures of him and his mum, a snapshot of him, Sam, Eileen, and Castiel. Next to the picture of him with Lisa and Ben, and the drawing of that little girl who drew him with a cowboy hat. He looks at the fridge door and nods. This is him.

Loving son and brother, friend, saviour, bisexual man, surrogate father, and boyfriend. He's more than a hunter, more than a piece on Chuck' checkerboard, more than the sum of his mistakes. He has loved, and he has failed. And despite it all, he is proud. Not too much. But he can feel it, burning in his chest. He is valid and worthy of having it all.

#dean winchester #bi dean #bi dean winchester #oneshot #destiel fandom #deancas fandom #bi visibility day #bi visibility #bi pride #destiel #deancas

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the-angry-pixie · 5 years ago

Text

camboy AU... but make it romantic

Camboy Bill AU feat. the OT7.

- basic stuff really

- Bill is a camboy (billoncam) on those websites that I don’t know enough about to be able to give a name.

- and he does sessions every few days in private chatrooms

- mostly solo stuff - either a vibrator or dildo in his ass whilst jacking it to the camera

- his fans love him because he is really chatty and responsive. and when he gets really turned on, he stutters. he always moans and thanks the person when someone sends him a tip - its like the tip button is directly connected to his vibrator, the way he moans every time it *dings*

- he has regulars. people who always seem to tune in and leave lots of tips. he comes to recognise their usernames.

- “welcome mikey-mike. i hope you’re having a good week.”

- “its good to see you again bigdickrich, what filthy things are you gonna say to me today?”

- stuff like that.

- he holds competitions among viewers - whoever gives him the most tips in a session gets to choose a name for him to call out when he cums

- as a result billoncam ends up moaning out “oh fuck carsforeddie! oh fuck you feel so good carsforeddie! oh fuck OH FUCK!” a lot.

- like previously stated, he’s known for his highly interactive solo stuff but every now and then his audience gets a guest appearance from other people. it always seems to be the same guys but we never get to see their faces

- one has lovely golden skin that matches his golden curls that Bill loves to grab onto when he’s fucking him

- the other is this buff dude with dark blonde body hair that makes the most delicious sounds when he’s railing Bill

- thats right, billoncam be versatile as fuck

- even more versatile than first anticipated because one time during a session Bill is holding a photo on his phone up to show the camera and he accidentally swipes to the next photo which is of some redhead woman lying on a bed in lingerie

- the comment section goes wild and Bill is like “oh fuck, oh fuck you weren’t meant to see that, ah ha ha ha lets forget that happened pls” and he goes on with the session. trying to ignore all the questions hounding him about who the fuck that was and why was she on his bed??

- two days later when billoncam is next scheduled to cam it is immediately obvious that things are very different when the session starts on a shot of Bill sitting fully-clothed talking straight to camera

- “thanks for tuning in everyone. I just felt I wanted to do something a bit different today. There’s been lots of discussion and questions about what happened the other day and I’ve thought about it a lot and have decided that I would like to be honest with you. This is a part of who I am and I don’t want to feel ashamed of that. So the truth is... I’m bisexual. And this...”

- Bill holds up his phone showing a photo of Bill and the redhead from the lingerie photo hugging each other and smiling giddily at the camera

- “... this is Bev. She’s my girlfriend.”

- again, the comment section goes wild. Obviously Bill has been camming himself on a website for gay men and well... gays can still be mean and weird sometimes when it comes to bisexuality.

- “I know. I know. It’s not what you’ve come to expect from me. I’m sorry if you’re offended or something. Well actually I’m not sorry at all. I would never be sorry for being in love with Bev. She’s my rock. We’ve been together for so long and she means the world to me. And the only reason I’m showing her face on here is because she’s given me full permission. In fact she has her own camming channel. Which I can link you to if there are any fellow bi’s out there.”

- Because the internet is the internet, Bill notices he’s losing viewers quickly, but he’s kind of happy to note that some of his regulars are among the ones being super supportive

- sitonthis: you’re not really gay. get the fuckk outta here!

mikey-mike: thanks for being honest with us Bill. I’m bi too and some people on here need to be quiet and stop being rude.

erotic-cum-on-my-hole: where’s the dick??

bigdickrich: daaaaaaaaaaamn Bill. she’s fuckign hot! gimme dat link please >______>

br000ny: sick of these bi s trickin on us. im out.

carsforeddie: YO EVERYONE NEEDS TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE BILL ALOONE!@! WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO DATE BILL?! HE’S FUCKING GORGEOUS AND PERFECT!! I SWEAR TO GOD YOU ALL NEED TO MEET ME IN THE PARKING LOT RIGHT THE FUCK NNOW!!e@!

- but it doesn’t stop there. Bill has more to tell. He doesn’t get naked at all that session. But he does come clean about being polyamorous. Apparently Bill and Bev were together for years before she started dating Ben. Who then eventually started dating Bill as well (mystery solved on who buff dude is). And then a little while after that Bill started dating Stan who also began dating everyone else eventually (mystery number two solved on who golden curls is)

- of course to respect privacy Bill doesn’t give names or photos for those two (they’re not into camming and only ever fuck Bill on cam as a favour cause they know Bill loves it so much). But he does wax poetic for a further half an hour on just how much he loves all his partners and then unexpectedly signs off.

- billoncam disappears for awhile. his sessions just suddenly stop. his fans reckon its probably got to do with the negative response he got to coming out as bi.

- they try to reach out to him on his social media but never with any luck. its funny, billoncam’s sessions have weirdly become a bit of community thing. its strange. the regulars all kind of know each other and it feels wrong to not be coming all together (pun not intended) a few times a week on Bill’s channel. but whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore because it seems billoncam is no more. he’s been scared away.

- struggling radio personality Richie Tozier is definitely not expecting to run into Bill aka. billoncam in a random Los Angeles Starbucks one day. But he does. Thats him. That’s totally fucking him. The only way Richie could be more sure is if Bill whipped his junk out in the middle of this cafe.

- Richie is so stunned he can’t even think what to say. How to approach this guy that he has been jacking off to for the last year or so.

- He ends up chasing Bill down the street and kind of pouncing on him.

- Bill is understandably wary at first. But of course he’s kind of charmed by this nervous motormouth with his ridiculously syrupy-looking frappuccino concoction. Its strange how familiar he seems. He almost whispers the name to himself just as Richie practically yells “Oh by the way. I’m bigdickrich. Did I mention that? I might have forgotten to mention that. Fuck!”

- And well, a week or two later... billoncam makes a comeback suddenly.

- And he’s got a companion. A companion who is showing his face. Bill’s regulars know they definitely haven’t seen this guy (or his body) before but they don’t mind at all since the session is so much more intense because they can see both participants for once. And this new guy is very cute. In a hairy, gangly, bedraggled kind of way.

- Bill introduces the guy as his new friend. He says his new friend convinced him to come back online. And his new friend even gave permission for their first time together to be filmed live.

- New Friend’s eyebrows wiggle at the camera behind his thick dark-framed glasses

- this sends a thrill through the audience obviously. such an intimate thing that theyre witnessing. New Friend doesnt seem to mind though. In fact he seems to lap up the attention and is very willing to take suggestions from the audience of just what he should do to Bill.

- the vibrator and dildo remain untouched on the bed that day.

- and its right at the end, still panting and sweating and coming down from their highs that Bill mentions that his New Friend is a previous audience member.

- “some of you might recognise the username. This is bigdickrich. Sooo... I guess we now know he wasn’t exaggerating with that name ha ha” to which Richie just grins at the camera holding his hands up under his chin.

- the comment section goes BONKERS!

- carsforeddie: THAT ANNOYING CRUDE SON OF A BITCH!! WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THE UNIVERSE SO UNFAIR! FUCK!”

mikey-mike: good for you bigdickrich. you’re a real lucky guy.

twinksfordays: i want to choke on bigdickrich’s cock

carsforeddie: HOW?! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! EW I JUST JACKED IT TO THAT ASSHOLE! FUCK I NEED TO SHOWER”

- Bill and Richie giggle and converse with the commenters for awhile and then sign off.

- billoncam returns to regularly camming again. much the way he was before. mostly solo. though sometimes with guest stars. and Richie becomes a more and more frequent feature. He’s the only one (besides Bev popping in now and then) who shows his face.

- and then, billoncam hits 100,000 subscribers

- and Bill. Well he has to make it special right? So he auctions himself off. There has to be some careful wording and labelling so that he can’t be done for prostitution but... essentially Bill auctions off the chance for him to travel and spend the night with the highest bidder.

- of course carsforeddie is not going to let this opportunity slide by him. He’s a successful businessman. He might only be 25 but he’s got money to burn and he’s been loving lusting after billoncam for a LONG TIME

- its undisclosed just how much Eddie Kaspbrak, luxury car rental business owner ends up paying for billoncam to fly to New York and spend the night with him - for legal reasons obviously. And no, Eddie does not give permission for the deed to be filmed.

- But! Its perfectly legal to say that the 2nd time Bill fucks Eddie - the 3rd, the 4th, the 5th and the 6th and all the times that follow - are done completely for free!

- Ben jokes to Richie privately about them going to need to move into a bigger house if Bill keeps adding people to this relationship.

- It becomes less of a joke and more of a reality as Eddie moves permanently to Los Angeles 6 months (and lots of trips to LA) later.

- And thats it. Theyre nearly there. There’s just one more thing missing. One more piece to the puzzle. Bill doesn’t know why he feels this way. He just does.

- Luckily Mike Hanlon (aka as mikey-mike) has been unknowingly working away on this very thing for months. Not that he would have dared to assume that anything would happen when he slid into billoncam’s DM’s 18 months ago.

- He’s just a country boy from bumfuck nowhere. There’s no reality in this universe where he and the likes of billoncam would ever cross paths. But he enjoys talking to him. They have a lot of laughs. And Bill is surprisingly sweet and very well spoken. They like a lot of the same things. The same literature, the same sports teams. Bill is always asking after the animals on Mike’s family’s farm. Mike wishes he could get to know him better.

- Bill wants the same thing. He’d give anything to meet the sweet-souled farmboy from Maine who brightens Bill’s day whenever he gets a new message from him. I mean, it helps that he’s also gorgeous with the most wonderful smile, but thats beside the point.

- Bill ends up putting his money where his mouth is. Just enough to buy a return plane ticket to LA, so that Mike can come visit him, and cover the cost of a hotel room (ya know, in case he doesn’t want to stay with Bill and the rest of them. Bill would never want to make him uncomfortable).

- Needless to say Mike fits right into the family almost immediately.

- its a couple of months later and billoncam still exists, but its like a relic now. Bill pours all his creative energy into his new channel “the-lucky-seven”. Its a channel shared by everyone and its outrageously popular. Sure there are still a few individuals who are too shy or anxious to show their faces but the audience doesn’t seem to care. There’s so much variety to be found on the channel. Different combinations of people doing a live cam nearly every second day.

- they’re all unapologetic, they all love each other, and they don’t mind sharing it with the world.

- :) :) :) :) B) :) :)

----

Did I really just write a romance story about camming? Why yes, I think I did. Ha Ha. Hope you enjoyed. :)

#sorry - you were probably expecting more smut #¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i do what i can #i was inspired and so i HCed #poly losers club #the losers club #pixie writes #pixie headcanons #IT movie #notsfw

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poisonedfortunecookie · 6 years ago

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a moment of shance #49

(pre-shance, canon) The club was Lance's haven, the one place he could escape to and express himself. A place where no one knew him, and no one judge him. At first, it was simply curiosity, born from his budding sexuality that drove him there. Sure that it was just a phase, Lance saw the gay club as a challenge. A bit of harmless fun. He'd go in, maybe flirt a little, dance, and get it out of his system. But the club consumed him and revealed to him who he really was. However, taking that person outside the club was easier said than done, but Lance was working on that. Until then, the club was the only place he could truly be himself, and be the person he wanted to be. No one here knew that he was just a cargo pilot, a failure, a disappointment. Here he was popular, desirable. His looks and charm had earned him more than a few admirers, and several of the regulars had taken him under their wing. To them, he was a successful pilot at the Garrison, their youngest and brightest. The people he met here were impressed and hung off his every word. He was, of course, taking risks going there. Sneaking out after curfew and using a fake ID, but that only added to the thrill of being there. That was until he saw Lieutenant Takashi Shirogane sitting at the bar, apparently attempting to drink it dry.

Understandable, Lance, panicked. He bolted to the bathroom, locked himself in a cubicle and paced as much as the small space would allow. His first thought was that he had to leave. Get back to the Garrison and tuck himself up in his dorm before Shiro saw him there. But why should he leave? He argued with himself. Shiro was so far above and beyond Lance that it was unlikely he'd recognise him as a student. And generally, Lance put in a bit of extra effort with his appearance when he came to the club. He styled his hair differently, wore nicer clothes and a bit of makeup, which generally made him look more mature. Not entirely unrecognisable, but different. All Lance had to do was avoid Shiro for the night. Sure, the man might have been the trigger for his bisexual awakening, but he couldn't risk it. Cautiously, Lance slipped out of the bathroom and back into the pulsing crowd, disappearing among the dancers. But the music could only distract him for so long. Knowing that Shiro was so close, he couldn't help himself. He had to take a peak. He hovered near the bar, as close as he dared, trying not to make it look like he was checking Shiro out. If one of his friends at the club saw him eyeing Shiro up, they'd no doubt try to hook him up. Shiro was hunched over the bar, nursing a glass of what looked like whiskey. His head bowed, shoulders hunched. He had no interest in interacting with anyone and rebuffed all who approached him. He looked so forlorn; Lance wanted to go over and hug him. Instead, he watched as Shiro knocked back several more glasses of alcohol, slowly becoming more and more unsteady on the bar stool. Maybe it would be ok now? Shiro was looking pretty drunk. At the very least, Lance figured he should try and pry Shiro away from the bar and make sure he got back to the Garrison safely. Suddenly, Shiro pushed himself off the stool, stumbling to his feet, and Lance ducked back into the shadows, fearing he'd been seen. But he was safe, Shiro turned around and made the bathroom. Letting out a sigh of relief, Lance waited for a moment before following. Just to make sure that Shiro got there without falling flat on his face, of course. Shiro only got as far as the dingy hallway leading to the bathroom before a gruff looking man stopped him. A man that he'd ordinarily have no trouble pushing passed, but as intoxicated as he was, an arm was enough to block his path. The man smirked and said something to Shiro that Lance couldn't hear over the beat of the music. Judging by the smirk on his face though, it wasn't anything good. And then his hand moved to grab Shiro's ass. “Hey! Back off. He's with me!” Lance marched up to them, pushing between Shiro and the other man. The man was stunned for a moment, but he recovered quickly, his smirk turning into a leer that sent a shiver down Lance's spine. “Oh, really? Well, I wouldn't mind a pretty thing like you joining too.” The man reached for Lance, and Lance slapped his hand away with a derisive snort. “No, thanks.” “You little bitch!” Snarling, the man reached for Lance again. Shiro caught his wrist before he could do any harm, suddenly focused and alert. “Don't touch him,” he growled. The man cursed and tried to pull his arm free. When that didn't work, he took a swing at Shiro. But Shiro was faster. One quick punch and the man was on the ground, groaning and holding his nose. “Oh shit,” Lance cursed and grabbed Shiro's hand without thinking. “Come on. We gotta get outta here.” Fights were not good. Even though the other man had started it, and it was entirely his fault, even someone as high ranking as Shiro would get in trouble for being drunk and getting involved in a bar fight. And if it got out that Lance was here too… Thankfully, Shiro followed docilely and didn't say a word until they were outside in the refreshing night air. “Are you..really my boyfriend?” He asked with a frown, although he didn't try to pull his hand free. “No. Sorry. I just said that to make him leave you alone.” Lance let go of Shiro's hand quickly, spinning around to face him. “Listen, I can explain-” he began, but a heavy sigh from Shiro cut him off. “Oh. That's right. I don't have a boyfriend any more.” Shiro slumped forward, head bowed and shoulders hunched, utterly dejected. “..I'm sorry,” Lance murmured, not sure what else he could say. A small part at him jumped at the news that Shiro was single, the part of him that was still nursing that foolish crush. He pushed it away, mentally berating himself. “Come on, let's get you home,” he urged, placing a gentle hand on Shiro's arm. It took some coaxing, mostly dragging, but with Shiro's arm around his shoulder, supporting most of his weight, Lance finally got them moving. After a few minutes of silently dragging their feet, Shiro's head snapped up. “You know where I live?” “Yeah. You told me earlier,” Lance lied quickly. Hoping Shiro wouldn't question him further. He didn't. “Oh,” he muttered, and his head dropped, body going limp, using Lance as a crutch once again. - - - Getting Shiro to his dorm was easy. His quarters were less guarded than the Cadet's, and all the other senior officers were fast asleep at this hour. They walked right up to his door, and after some prodding from Lance, Shiro was able to open it and let them inside. The room was surprisingly plain. Bigger than Lance's dormitory, and with a few more home comforts, but not the luxurious grandeur he'd been expecting. Lance couldn't help but stare, craning his neck to see every corner of the room as he dragged Shiro through the small living area. He was looking for hints, anything that might tell him more about Shiro. What he saw instead made his heart clench. There were absences. Empty spaces where things used to be. Those that were left had been moved around and replaced haphazardly. It had the air of something missing — someone who'd left in a hurry. Adam. He knew about Shiro and Adam, of course. Not only were they both skilled fighters, at the top of their class, but they were the hottest couple at the Garrison. What could have made Adam leave like that? From what Lance knew (which granted, wasn't a lot) they seemed rock solid. Now wasn't the time. He dragged Shiro to the bedroom and sat him on the bed. Shiro was just conscious enough to take off his boots, grumbling all the while before he flopped down on the bed, and grabbed one of the pillows, curling around it like a lost child. Lance hated to leave him there amongst all the gaping holes left by Adam's departure, but he could hardly stay. Plus, he doubted Shiro would welcome him there in the morning when he was sober. No, the decent thing to do was leave. But there was one thing he had to do. It was his only chance. Stooping over the figure on the bed, Lance carefully brushed errand strands of soft, dark hair from Shiro's face. His fingers traced against Shiro's brow, trailing down the side of his face. “You'll get through this,” he whispered. After that, he quickly grabbed a glass of water and some painkillers, and left them on the bedside table, ready for when Shiro woke. - - - - It was stupid, going out and getting drunk like that, but it hurt. He been expecting it, had even convinced himself it was for the best, but he hadn't been prepared for it. Seeing their room, devoid of any trace of Adam, had been too much. Adam. As much as he dreamed of a future for them, he knew it couldn't last. Not with his illness. He would only have dragged Adam down, put him through something painful that he shouldn't have to deal with, not when he had his whole life ahead of him. When Adam delivered that ultimatum, it had almost been a relief because now Adam was free. Shiro missed him. The bed was cold and too big, and his head pound, making him dizzy. He was immensely grateful for the glass of water and painkillers sitting, waiting on his bedside table, although he had no idea who'd put them there. At first, he let himself dream that Adam had come back and left them there for him. But no. As Shiro lay there, the pain killers slowly dulling the ache in his head, Shiro remembered blue. Deep, intense blue eyes, not Adam's soft, puppy dog brown. He couldn't remember what happened, or even leaving the bar. But the memory of those blue eyes lingered. He was sure they'd been here. They were the ones who'd looked after him and whispered reassuring words. They felt good, safe.

- - -

A little over a year later, after surviving more horrors that he could have ever imagined possible, Shiro met those comforting blue eyes again. And this time, he was able to put a name to them. “Lance, right?” Prev | Next

#shance #a moment of shance #shiro x lance #shiro/lance #slight alcohol abuse #shiro is drunk af #lance is a little shit who sneaks into nightclubs with a fake id #past adashi

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the-angry-tired-lesbian-bitch · 5 years ago

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Ok so I have an idea for a story/fairy tale

PSA: This is very reminiscent of Cinderella and I was tired when I wrote it

Ok so, there are two girls, let's call them violet and daisy.

Daisy is bisexual, and "open" about it, in the sense that her parents know and she makes no real attempt to hide it. However her parents don't accept her and thus treating her like a slave and pretending that she doesn't exist. But she does have a friend who acts as her sort of fairy god mother in this situation, his name is Greg because why the hell not.

Violet is a lesbian but is 1200000 coats deep in the closet. She is also the princess of the kingdom they all live in. Since she obviously can't marry a girl, she frequently disguises herself and visits what is basically the kingdoms version of a gay bar, where she has met daisy several times but they never really exchanged names, due to violet fear of being outed and shunned.

Anyway on to the story.

The king decides that they should hold a ball for violet in an attempt to find her a suitable husband, but he poses this as a birthday party for violets little sister, Rosa, to the queen, Rosa and violet. Now the queen and violet are very close and the queen would not approve of marrying violet off. So the king invites the rest of the kingdom.

Daisy and Greg hear about this and are really excited. They get all the stuff they need, suit or dress you can decide, but Daisy's parents, the bastards, find a binding spell, or something like that, to make sure that she, or perhaps someone else, would not be able to leave the house. They would check on her every night at exactly midnight to make sure she wasn't off doing something scandalous.

Daisy is devastated but determined to go to that fuckin ball, so she and Greg come up with this plan. Greg takes daisy's place so that the binding spell would effect him instead, because he knows what she goes through on a day to day basis and honestly? She deserves a fucking break from the ugly ass homophobes that are her parents!

So she goes and has and absolute ball ( I am so sorry I saw an opportunity and I took it). Violet however is having an awful and confusing time ( and like girl same, like in life generally) because this is her little sisters birthday party but her dad keeps intruding her to these weird old dudes, and finally (I love this girl but she's a bit of a dumbass) it clicks and she realises her dad is trying to marry her off. Horrified that she would be betrayed in this way by her own dad, she runs away ,like the gay dramatic bitch she is, to the library, because it's kinda her happy place. (If it isn't obvious enough, violet is based off me, I'm the gay dramatic bitch)

Cue our wonderful bisexual

Being the amazing gal she is, Daisy follows her to the library, to make sure she is ok. Now at this point they kinda recognise each other but don't know from where ( Daisy is also a dumb ass and doesn't realise that she is the princess either) so they get to talking and slowly realise that they know each other from the bear in the woods ( that's the gay bar btw I could think of a better name) they spend hours in the library, just talking, and getting to know each other, hands almost touching because there useless wlw. But it gets to like 11:45 and Daisy has to run home. BUT unlike Cinderella, they plan to meet the next day in the town AND daisy give Violet a quick cheek kiss ( violet dissolves into gay panic and again girl same).

Daisy makes it home just in time, not only not getting caught, but in a fucking euphoric state, because she . Met. A. Pretty. Girl. And. They. Have. A . Date. Tomorrow!

Half way through that date, Daisy realises that she is on a date with the fucking heir the the throne. She nearly freaks out but violet pulls her into an alley and explains everything to her, and says that she would understand if she never wants to see her again. Daisy kisses her and says that it changes nothing and they'll just have to be very careful. They have their first and second kiss in that alley

They begin a secret relationship, because they would be shunned from society and violet would be disowned by her dad.

This goes well.

Until it doesn't.

One of the weird old dudes, lets call him Chad because it's the douchest name I can think of (no offense to the chads out there who aren't douches) from the ball sees them kissing and realise the truth. He tells violets family, in an attempt to gain there favour and marry the princess himself. However he makes a big mistake. He only tells the queen because the king has a reputation for being unreasonable and killing the messenger .

Since the queen is the only good parent in this story, she talks to violet, trying to see if it's true. When confronted about it, violet breaks down in tears, saying how it is true and it isn't a phase and she's in love, begging her mother to still love he, which of course she does. But she does tell her that her life is going to be dangerous and she might not be able to protect Daisy. Because when it comes to it, a mob is a mob and no crown is going to protect you from that.

However Chad, the mother fucker, realises that the queen is a good person and instead goes to the king. He somehow manages to convince the king that violet is going through a phase and he is the best person to bring her our of it into the blissful world of heterosexuality (that was sarcasm btw)

When violet goes to her room, she finds her father sitting on her bed. He basically explains to her that she is going to marry Chad, and tell her mother that she wants to and that everything was just a phase. Or he will have Daisy killed. At this point violet is passed questioning her father mortality, and believe him when he says he will kill her.

She breaks up with Daisy, saying how it was doomed to begin with and they were dumb to think it could work in the first place and ends things with her. Both of them leave crying.

Daisy drinks at the bear in the woods questioning whether she is capable of being loved. That's when our friends, Rosa and Greg enter. (Both of them are ace aro. Why you ask? Because I said so) They are the only people in the kingdoms with more then 5 braincells each, so they put two and two together and figured out that violet and Daisy are in love with each other ( their relationship kinda just started with them bitching to each other about how dumb violet and Daisy are, but at this point there really close).

Daisy breaks down and tells them every. There are a lot of tears and a lot of beer. However, Rosa finally manages to get out that, violet does actually love her and that her dad is forcing her into the wedding.

*this scene honestly just reminds me of the princess bride*

Violet is getting ready for her wedding to Chad of douche land, when Daisy knocks on her window (she on like the second floor btw, so daisy is fuckin ripped) Daisy gives this big speech to violet about how she's the best thing that's ever happened to her, how she doesn't need anything else apart from her and how she's willing to risk her life if it means being with her. Violet loves the idea, but knows that they can't stay in the kingdom.

They are faced with a choice. Stay and be miserable or leave and be happy. It was an easy choice.

They run away from the castle, violet still in her wedding dress, to an Abandoned cottage in the forest. However, violet does leave a note for her mother, basically saying that she's safe, with daisy and happy. In the note she also explains what her father said to her about killing daisy.

The queen is destroyed that her daughter had to leave but is ultimately happy that she is not being forced into an unwanted marriage.

She also fuckin pissed at the king.

Fast forward about 2 years

Rosa and Greg are the reigning king and queen (they got married but as friends) because the king died. (The queen killed him the night violet ran away and framed Chad. What can I say, she's a bad bitch)

Suddenly, all 3 of them are told to go to the bear in the woods and not tell anyone. They all go because it was either that or suffering through a memorial for the king and honestly, possible death was better then that.

However, instead of the cold hands of death, they are greeted by violet and daisy. They're both a bit worse for wear physically, but they're happier then Rosa, Greg and the queen have ever seen them. (This isn't important but daisy is butching it up. Like loose white button up under a vest butch and short hair. Also violet has that "oh my god I like girls" hair. You know, the shortish hair that ends half way down the neck. So yeah daisy is super butch and violet is cute as shit)

Daisy and violet break the news that they are going to get married!! And while it will be in secret, in there little cottage in the forest, they want the 3 people they love most to be there.

They all show up, daisy is in the same outfit, but you know classier, and violet is in a lovely dress with a bouquet of violets and daisies. Why, because I said so.

Greg is daisies best man, Rosa is Violets maid of honour (they both walk them down the isle) and the queen conducts the ceremony. It's all happy and gay.

The newly weds have their first dance, and even though they were away from where they lived all there lives, they've never felt more at home.

The end

(please tell me your opinions, improvements casting and things like that in the comments, because I really enjoy reading them)

Also @miss-yiay what do ya think?

#lesbian #gay #lgbt #fairy tail #fairy tale #Cinderella #wlw #daisy #rosa #violet #greg #the queen #story #book #princess #princess bride

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asynca · 6 years ago

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Your blog gives me big lesbian loving energy + big queer loving energy when will terfs learn to sew so they can keep their lips closed + stop chugging all that ignorant bitch juice

Thank you!

Re: TERFs - I think the majority of the terfs on here (minus the ones actively trying to recruit people) are just young folks who weren’t exposed to the original movement in the 80s/90s, didn’t see the harm it did or understand that exclusionism was, just like the rejection of trans folks, a very clear part of much of the radfem agenda.

Lesbian separatists were a branch of radfems were all about “centering lesbians” and removing any sort of association or relationship with anyone who wasn’t a ‘pure’ lesbian, and especially not allowing them to be part of any conversation about lesbians, even where the issue also impacted other queer folks. Sometimes, their ideology extended beyond just believing the best way to support lesbians was to exclude non-lesbians into actually trying to live a life where they had as little contact with men and straight women (bisexual folks were considered to be essentially straight women). I know this because in the 90s and 2000, I was an 18yo recruited in the same way by a bunch of radfem lesbian separatists and I recognise the mentality.

I see a lot of lesbian separatism in modern exclusionists and terfs. I think a lot of teenagers and young people don’t realise how vulnerable they are to being recruited into these sort of politics. When you’re first politicized you’re SO ANGRY, you have so much anger to express and radfems and separatists give you a reason to be angry at pretty much everyone. They encouraging ‘othering’ of other queer folks and exaltation of lesbianism above everything else. After being made to feel like shit for all my teenage life being a lesbian, this exaltation felt REALLY good. It felt so good to have some authority and feel like I was better than other people and had the right to control them!

The same radfems that recruited me later called me a “sperm receptacle” to my face after learning I’d slept with a man. This sort of exclusionary politics used to be angled purely at bisexual folks, but in modern exclusionism now also is angled at ace, aro and nb folks.

I don’t have any solutions; radical feminism and lesbian separatism are attractive to young folks because they are simplistic, black & white, angry and policing, and make lesbians feel good about themselves to the detriment of literally everyone else. They’re also pretty evangelist in that they actively, actively recruit.

I do think it’s worth not 100% blaming young folks for being caught up in this; I was super young and naive when I was a TERF and I only became one because the first feminists I ever met seemed so confident and smart. I admired them and wanted to be like them - and I had no reason to believe these very smart women weren’t right! It was only later I learnt how much bullshit that whole worldview is.

#queer #feminism #separatism #Anonymous

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megpie71 · 6 years ago

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Why I don’t ship Clerith

(Because what the hell, I may as well get this out here before the fun and games start next year, and I have to fight off Clerith shippers with a bat)

I think I've worked out the problem I have with Cloud/Aerith shipping, as far as I'm concerned.

[Clarification: this is why I have trouble with it, and won't write it. I'm not saying other people can't, just that I do have issues with it, and therefore don't particularly like reading it, and I've sort of worked out why.]

Now, there are two predominant "schools" of people who ship Cloud with Aerith. One of those is what I'd call OT3/OT4 fandom, where firstly, the relationship is happening prior to the Nibelheim event, and generally there's at least Zack mixed in to the bundle (sometimes with the addition of Sephiroth, to make the OT4), and it's generally a bisexual threesome at least. And yeah, that one I find vaguely believable.

[Could all the anti-shippers who just leapt to their feet shrieking "paedophillia!" because Cloud is canonically somewhere between 14 and 16 in this 'ship, kindly sit the fuck back down again? Cloud Strife may only be 14 years old, but he is a functional adult in his society, taking on an adult role (member of the army of the One World Government). He would greatly resent any implication he is a "child", because he gave up being a "child" when he left Nibelheim to join the army. Also, in the OT3 version, Aerith is about 15 - 17 years old, Zack is between 16 and 18 years old. None of them are "adults" as we'd define it in Western Eurocentric cultures, but all of them are "adults" according to their own cultural system that they grew up in. As such, they think of themselves as being adults, they consider themselves to be adults, and given they're performing adult roles for at least two years by the time the Nibelheim event comes along, they're not going to step back into childhood again, either. If you're going to bitch about this, then start by bitching at the original writers working for Square Enix well before you start bitching at fanwriters, okay?

This is also leaving aside the cheerful fact that "adulthood" norms are generally socially and culturally determined. So, for example, my maternal grandmother became a functional "adult" at the age of 14, when she came out on a boat from England to Australia in order to find work (accompanied by her 16 year old sister); my mother became a functional "adult" at the age of 16, when she finished her third year of high school and started working; and I became a functional "adult" at the age of 18, when I reached the legal age to vote and drink, even though I didn't have a full-time job and I was still living with my parents at the time. My paternal grandfather joined the British army at the age of 12 (as a drummer boy, toward the end of World War 1). What counts as "adult" is culturally and socially determined, and never a fixed point of reference.]

I can find it very believable that Cloud would get involved in a relationship with two people who are roughly around his own age, and that it would be a Good Thing in his life at the time. He's going through puberty, he's behaving as an adult in his society, he would be doing adult things, including sex and possibly alcohol (although my head-canon is that Cloud is incredibly disappointed with Midgarian beer the first time he tries it, and refers to it as "sex in a canoe" ever after - fucking close to water. He grew up drinking applejack and brandywine as antifreeze since shortly after he could first toddle).

The other "school" of people who ship Cloud and Aerith tend to place the potential relationship during the canon time period of the original game, starting not long after Cloud rescues Aerith from the Turks in the church. Now, I have a lot of problems with that one.

Firstly, I doubt Aerith would really be interested in a relationship. It's made reasonably clear at the end of Crisis Core (and in "The Last Order" OVA) that Aerith knows when Zack was killed - she feels his spirit rejoin the Lifestream because she is who and what she is. So her first serious boyfriend has died, she knows he's died, and you can't kid me she wouldn't be grieving as a result. So I don't think Aerith is in the right emotional place to be starting a relationship.

As for Cloud... oh gods. No. Hell no. So much no.

Cloud is, at the point where he meets Aerith, a psychological mess beyond belief. He has been incredibly traumatised, first by multiple years of experimentation, then by prolonged mako poisoning, and then finally, just as he's starting to come out of that, by seeing his best (only?) friend destroyed in front of him by pretty much the whole damn Shinra army. Zack dies in his arms, and the best interpretation of what happens next is Cloud's mind, overwhelmed by the emotional and sensory overload of dealing with this (because he's not just waking up from mako poisoning, he's waking up from mako poisoning with Sephiroth-level SOLDIER enhancement, which means his sensory matrix has been boosted sight out of mind as well) basically shuts down completely on a conscious level, and wipes the memory, adding traumatic amnesia to the whole mix. When he re-awakens, he re-patterns himself on a combination of Zack's memory, what he remembers of Sephiroth, and what he thinks a First Class SOLDIER should be like.

Now, mix in that Cloud Strife is carrying around the Buster Sword the first time Aerith meets him, in the plaza in sector eight, just after Reactor One has exploded. Aerith knows what the Buster Sword is, she knows what it meant to Zack and she knew why it meant that. So seeing it on someone else's back is probably a very nasty reminder to her that Zack isn't coming back. She doesn't know why Cloud is wearing it, and I doubt in the shock of the moment (let's not forget: massive explosion about five to ten minutes previously, people running around the square like headless chickens the whole time, she's probably not really thinking all that clearly to begin with, and given Mako is also the Lifestream, she's probably felt a profound disturbance in the localised lifestream flows thanks to the destruction of the mako reactor, which may well have knocked her sideways as well!) she's really able to do much more than recognise it, feel the shock of the recognition, and move on to the next part of the interaction.

The second time Cloud and Aerith meet (and if you're familiar with Crisis Core canon, the second time someone drops through the roof of the Church down onto her flowerbed - if not, go look up who the first example was) she's a bit more capable of sustained thought past the shock. So she sees it's the same guy with the Buster Sword, and this time, she's determined he isn't going to vanish on her, because there's something hinky going on here. It gets even weirder for her when you consider Cloud is channelling a lot of Zack's mannerisms in order to be able to get through the encounter himself (I have a strong suspicion Cloud is dissociating continuously throughout at least the first five "days" of the game). So she "hires" this strange guy as her "bodyguard", gets him away from the Turks who appear to have turned up to collect him (and really, it's much more likely at first approximation that the Turks and troopers are there to collect Cloud, given the ambush President Shinra staged at Reactor Four), takes him home with her, and deliberately makes sure she's able to keep an eye on him by following him back to Sector Seven. Or at least, that's the plan.

I really don't think Cloud would be an attractive partner for Aerith at that point - not with her grief still fresh in her mind, and with his uncanny behavioural resemblance to Zack. I think Cloud would be much more likely to creep her the fuck out, rather than turn her on sexually. And as for Cloud, my head-canon for him is he probably isn't even masturbating at this point in his life - his mind is basically about fifty-seven different types of trauma all shaken up into a constant waking nightmare. He might have a few wet dreams when the physical pressure gets too great, but he's not even thinking of himself as a sexual being at this point, and certainly not in a space where he'd be interested in an actual relationship. The flirting is mechanical (and probably comes across as same, too) and I really don't think he would have been physically capable of following through, so to speak. (Cloud, to my mind, won't be ready for a relationship until about two or three years down the line after the end of Advent Children, if then).

So no, I don't think it's possible for Cloud and Aerith to be involved in a relationship at that point. Not even if they'd been involved in one prior to the Nibelheim event. (Actually, in that particular case it would be even more traumatic for both of them - Aerith knows Cloud, but can't tell him because it would hurt him more than he can handle; he's constantly dissociating and suffering from traumatic amnesia, and he's only just got out of a state of complete catatonia - learning the truth in such a fashion would just knock him straight back there, and they need him upright and functioning. Plus it's physically safer for him if he learns the truth of the matter slowly - if he went catatonic... well, that could very well dump him right back into Hojo's hands again, since it's a fair bet Shinra owns the majority of the medical facilities in the world).

Then Sephiroth damn near manipulates Cloud into killing Aerith, and when that doesn't work, Sephiroth kills her himself, right in front of Cloud. If you tell me that wouldn't be the cue for a massive attack of the guilts on Cloud's part, I'm going to ask what the merry hells you're on, because I need my doctor to prescribe me some of that.

#ff7 #why I don't ship Clerith #why I don't ship Cloud with anyone in-game #have some psychological realism #have some socio-cultural realism too #Yeah I'm stirring the pot #I figure I'll get in early before the rush starts

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gr-ogu · 6 years ago

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if you're still writing fics, can you write something with "You have to let me see him". I love your writing!

Of course I can, lovely anon!!!! :’) Thank you so much forthe prompt and I hope you enjoy this!!!!!

a hogwarts au, because I am a basic bitch, and we all knewthis was coming, didn’t we?

…

Aaron’s been standing outside the Slytherin common room forhalf an hour, and quite frankly, he’s cold, he’s tired, and he’s fucking sickof arguing with this portrait.

“You are not the house of Slytherin, and thus you may notenter,” Salazar Slytherin says for the umpteenth time, and if Aaron could jumpin there and strangle him, he would, “Now, be off with you, foul boy!”

“Oh shut up, will ya? I’ve been in there loads of times, noneed to pretend like it’s some big secret.”

“I beg your pardon young man!” The portrait shouts,scandalised. “You most certainly have not! No outsider has entered the dungeonfor more than eight centuries—″

“Well that’s a load of bollocks,” Aaron says, mouthdown turned in a mocking smile, “Our Saviour and our King did just that, back intheir day. It’s in Hogwarts: A History, so you can pipe down mate.”

Not that Aaron’s ever bothered to open his History of Magictextbook, but everyone knows about the Golden Trio and their adventures. He’s aGryffindor, how can he not? It’s practically his legacy.

“That is simply not true, I renounce the notion!” The portraithuffs, and Aaron just doesn’t have time for this

“Just let me in will ya? There’s someone I need to see andyou’re makin’ this way more difficult than it needs to be.”

“Certainly not,” Salazar says again, and doesn’t deign tospeak to Aaron any longer.

Aaron huffs, annoyed. It’s true, he’s seen the inside ofthat common room thousands of times. He’s Disillusioned himself and followedother Slytherins in, followed Robert in, but Robert never would tell him thepassword.

It’s stupid, Aaron thinks. Why did it matter if he knew thepassword or not? They were meant to be secret boyfriends, so it’s not likeAaron was going to mention it to anyone.

He can see the green-tinged walls in his mind’s eye; seethe black and dark green sofas, the dark wood cupboards. The total opposite ofthe warm and inviting Gryffindor common room, in Aaron’s opinion.

That’s what Robert could be sometimes—cold and uninviting.But only when he was mad at Aaron, like now.

“Merlin’s right testicle,” Aaron curses and pinches thebridge of his nose with his left hand. “If you’re not gonna let me in, I’m justgonna have to force ya.”

“I say! Young man—”

He’s got his wand in his right hand when the portrait dooropens, and Priya steps out. She’s a Slytherin too, one of Robert’s best mates,their year. Brilliant.

“Can you stop making a racket and threatening ourportrait?” She asks sternly, both hand on her hips. She’s one of those girlswho pins her robes back with magic so they suit her frame better, and eventhough Aaron doesn’t go for girls, he can still admit she’s attractive. She’sclever too. Aaron likes her. “Robert says he doesn’t want to see you. So goaway.”

“No!” Aaron answers defiantly, still brandishing his wand.He might like her, but he likes Robert more. “I want to see him now, and you’regonna let me in.”

“In your dreams,” she scoffs, “What have you two fallen outabout this time?”

“Qudditch,” he replies automatically, and Priya rolls hereyes as if she’s expecting it.

It’s their go-to lie, whenever they’ve fallen out. They’refriends, everyone knows they are, even if some people don’t like it. That makesit easy to hang around together, to joke, to laugh, to argue. Easier to hidethe truth.

They’re both on their house Quidditch teams, Robertslightly more reluctant than Aaron, but he’s got the build for it, and Aaronadmires that build everyday. Aaron’s a beater, revelling in the thrill of theaggression; Robert’s a chaser, all agility and quick thinking.

Aaron keeps Robert chasing him, too.

Most of the timeanyway.

It’s easy to say they’ve fallen out over it, they’recompetitive at the best of times, both wanting to get one over on the other,especially when secret sexual favours are riding on it.

The ‘secret’ aspect of their relationship is down toRobert. He’s still coming to terms with his bisexuality, and Aaron can respectthat. God knows how long it took him to accept that he was gay. Robert is alsofrom a Pure blood family, who expect heirs from their children, putting acertain amount of pressure on Robert as the eldest son.

“Andy can live his life to make babies for all I care,”Robert had said, “There’s more to life than blood purity.”

Sexuality isn’t that big of a deal in the Wizarding World,and Aaron’s grateful. Coming out had been the easy part, his half-blood Mumaccepting him completely. It was him accepting himself, that had been the hardbit.

Pure bloods though, they still try to pretend onlyheterosexuality exists in their family lines. Aaron rolls his eyes at thethought. So stupid.

“Look,” Priya says. Her resolve is softening and she’strying to be kind, Aaron can tell. “Why don’t you speak tomorrow, when thingsare less heated? I don’t know what you’ve said to him, but he’s pretty riledup.”

Aaron bites his lip in guilt.

Their argument had really focused on the fact that Aaronhad wanted to tell Adam about his relationship. Adam keeps trying to set him upwith blokes, and Aaron’s finding it hard to keep rebuffing Adam’s attempts tohelp his best mate pull. Aaron aches to just tell his friend the truth, butRobert had been dead set against it.

“You can’t tell him!” Robert had sighed, pacing up and downnext to Aaron’s bed in Gryffindor tower. Everyone else was at dinner, notexpected to come back for a while, so they were safe. People probably wouldn’tthink much if they caught them up there anyway, not knowing about Robert’ssexuality. “He’s the biggest blabbermouth in our year! Half the school will knowby tomorrow!”

“That’s not true and you know it,” Aaron had rolled hiseyes, playing with his quilt, “He’s never told anyone about you Bat-Bogeyhexing ChrissieWhite, and you would have got in loads of trouble for that.”

Robert’s silent for a beat. It’s true—Adam hadn’t let himdown there. “He’ll tell Vic, I’m not ready for her to know yet.”

Adam’s dating Robert’s younger sister. She’s a fifthyear, one year below them, and there’d been some hostility when that had comeout, but they all got on well enough now.

Aaron thought Robert secretly liked having an inter-housefriendship group. It made him feel cool. Adam and him were Gryffindor,Robert and Priya in Slytherin. Adam’s siblings Matty and Pete, they were inHufflepuff with Vic. Adam’s other brother Finn was their Ravenclaw, butsometimes he could barely even look at them, never wanting to be involved intheir ridiculous antics. Or so he always said, before joining them in figuring out hownot to get caught.

“I just—I’m not ready yet Aaron, alright?” Robert hadsighed, “Even one person knowing, that terrifies me.”

It hadn’t been alright with Aaron though, not at the time.Their chat had delved into a screaming row, where Aaron couldn’t understand howtelling one person would change anything. Robert had stormed out, not breakingup with him, but it was a close thing.

When Aaron had calmed down, he’d felt extremely guilty. Itwasn’t fair to push Robert, even if Adam was his best mate. He’d rather keep ita secret than lose his boyfriend completely.

“I need to see him now,” Aaron says in the present, “I need to tell him I’m sorry.”

“I’ll pass on the message,” she smiles tightly and moves toshut the common room door, but Aaron’s desperate.

“You have to let me see him!“ He cries, and thensuddenly Robert’s there, shouldering past Priya, all eye rolls and soft greyjumper. Aaron’s favourite.

“Thanks for trying Priya,” Robert says to her and shesmiles, “I’ll take it from here.”

She nods and disappears back into the common room, givingthem one last curious look before she goes.

“C’mon,” Robert says tightly, “Not here.”

He grabs Aaron’s wrist, but he doesn’t have to. Aaronfollows him away from the listening ears and eyes of Salazar and down into an alcovetucked a few corridors away. Aaron knows it well—they’ve snogged in here many atime.

“Are you trying to get us caught?” Robert hissesimmediately, but Aaron’s expecting it. “Talk about makin’ it obvious!”

“I didn’t know how else to see you,” there’s a sadness inhis voice and he can see the fight deflate out of Robert in one big exhale.

“Couldn’t you have just owled like a normal person?”

“No,” Aaron says anxiously, “I needed to see ya. Tell yaI’m sorry in person. I’m so sorry Robert—telling Adam isn’t worth losin’ you.”

Aaron’s not usually so open with his emotions, he evenrecognises that in himself. The admission causes Robert’s eyes to widen slightly.

“I’m sorry too,” Robert sighs, taking both of Aaron’s handsin his. “I shouldn’t have freaked out like that. It’s not weird to want to tellyour friends about your relationship. And I do, believe me I do… It’s just—“

“I get it, Robert,” Aaron cuts him off, not wanting tocause Robert anymore sadness, “There’s a lot at stake. I get it. It’s just youand me, we don’t need anyone else, got it?”

“Yeah,” Robert’s smile is brilliant and Aaron knows it’sone of relief. He can leave the situation alone if it means Robert smiles athim like that. “So, kiss and make up?”

“Shut up, you,” Aaron says affectionately, and they doexactly that.

…

I’m no longer accepting prompts, but I’ve got a few left inmy asks to do, so I’ll be doing those!!!! Thank you so much everyone who sentone

#emmerdale #robron #robert sugden #aaron dingle #robron fanfic #my fics #mine*#fuck I’m actually so so proud of this haha #I really like how it turned out!!!!!#this got hella long though OOPS #I was just enjoying it so much!!!!!!!!#thank you wonderful anon!!!!!!! <3 #Anonymous

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hellomissmabel · 7 years ago

Text

Debut I/II

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Warnings: Someone being called a bitch and a jerk. Kicking someone in a very sensitive, male spot.

Word count: 2k

Summary: You’re a small town actress catapulted to fame when you land a role in an immensely popular TV show. After turning down the flirtations of the lead male character, the media paints you as a bitch and you end up being bullied by his fans. Struggling to stay true to yourself, you find comfort and friendship in one of actors who makes his debut on the show.

This is a two-part mini series! No tagging sorry x

All Sebastian Stan’s characters & fics can be found here

A/N: Written for @bbparker

“Y/N, babe, filming starts in ten! Please hurry up to Wanda for make-up, dear,” the producer Tony screams from the other end of the room, heatedly discussing something with the screenwriter Peggy.

Bidding goodbye to one of the extras on the show, Peter Parker, you rush to the makeup department to get touched up. Wanda is already waiting for you with a playfully stern look in her eyes, sighing exasperatingly when you finally jump into your assigned seat.

“Your hair is a mess, Y/N,” Wanda groans softly as she starts to comb through it in an attempt to tame your fake curls from last episode. “I thought I told you not to put them up in a messy bun! Now you have so many knots and I have only…” Looking down on her watch, she shrieks dramatically. “I have only six minutes left to fix this!”

“Calm down, Wanda,” the attractive brunet in the chair next to you tells your stylist. “I’m Bucky Barnes,” he introduces himself, extending a hand for you to shake.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you smile back at the handsome stranger, “I play…”

“Harley Rains. Yeah, I instantly recognised you.” His piercing blue eyes stare straight into your soul. “The female lead. Well, Harley, meet your new co-star, August Addison.”

Wanda tugs firmly on your hair and you release a soft yelp, your face contorting in a severely unattractive expression. It seems to amuse Bucky more than it bothers you, so you continue your conversation like nothing happened. “You’re Steve’s half-brother, right? In the show, I mean.”

“Brady Hawking’s brother from another mother,” he chuckles as the make-up artist gives him a final once-over before clearing him. “Nice chatting with you, Harley. I’ll see you in a minute or two.”

The brunet leaves with a cheeky wink as Wanda rushes to raise your hair and makeup to a presentable level. When you exit the hair and makeup corner, you bump into your best friend and co-star Natasha, who funnily enough plays your on-screen nemesis, Dixie Sauvage.

“Did you already meet the fucking hot new co-star?,” she whispers into your ear as she pulls you aside. “Bucky Barnes a.k.a August Addison?” With a big, toothy grin you answer her question. “I don’t think Steve will be very happy. A lot of the girls will now be swooning over August instead of Brady.”

Maria, one of the dancers on the show, rounds the corner and stops in her tracks as she sees the two of you talking. With a foxy attitude and swaying hips, she walks up to you and flips her hair. “Guess who slept with Steve?”

Bursting into hearty laughter at her silly impersonation, the mood soon turns serious again. “No, really. Do you know who slept with Steve now?”

Both of you shake your head, curiosity peaking sky-high. “Sharon,” Maria reveals with a hushed breath. “The one and only Chanel Shaw.”

Exchanging a bewildered look with the redhead, you clasp your hand in front of your mouth to avoid screaming. “Are you kidding me? Sharon? That bitch who plays Chanel Shaw?” Natasha makes a gagging noise to emphasise her statement.

Chanel Shaw is the Barbie doll of the show, played by the screenwriter’s niece, Sharon Carter. Most of her fans are teenage girls who wouldn’t want anything more than to see her get together with Brady. Her character just happens to be Harley’s best friend on the show, but in real life you can’t stand each other, mainly because Steve never had eyes for Sharon as long as you didn’t turn him down. On top of that, Sharon’s a lousy actress and only good for numerous, pointless dramatic encounters.

“So what episode are we shooting today?,” you hear Sharon ask her niece Peggy as you, Natasha and Maria make it to the set.

Rolling your eyes with a disappointed hum, you nudge Natasha’s arm and mumble “so unprofessional, she doesn’t even know we’re shooting the Christmas special today” under your breath to the redhead.

Clapping her hands after answering Sharon, Peggy tells everyone to that we’re shooting outside and not on the set as foreseen. “Change of plans, people. Since this is still a Christmas special and there’s fresh snow outside, my personal friend and newest addition to the show, Bucky Barnes, suggested that we could shoot the outdoor scenes, in fact, outdoor.”

Her statement is met with loud cheering from some of the actors, but most of the dancers cause a little disturbance as dancing in the snow certainly isn’t easy. Eventually Peggy manages to convince them by saying she’ll buy them all hot chocolate after and next Friday off.

The general outline of today’s episode is the following: Chanel takes Harley shopping for the perfect dress for Christmas Eve as she will be spending it at Brady’s house and will meet his parents for the first time. On their way from their high school to the mall, they pass a patio surrounded by snow, where there’s a guy playing Christmas songs on a piano.

Then the camera zooms in on the new guy, August, who catches the two girls staring and invites them over to join him in his carol singing. Harley absolutely adores the Christmas spirit and decides to take him up on his offer, sitting next to him at the piano and singing along. August is enthralled by Harley’s voice and they share a few looks, sharing a beautiful moment together. Cue the dancers while the camera again zooms in on August’s face.

His face is very close to Harley’s as they finish the song, their breaths visible in the cold. Their eyes lock and a pink blush raises to her cheeks, having a very romantic moment until they’re interrupted by Chanel. They make acquaintances and bid goodbye, to which August keeps playing and Harley can’t focus on the shopping trip anymore.

“Okay, guys and girls, great work! We take a five minute break and then we do it again! I want perfection and nothing less!,” Peggy exclaims as you immediately take at least a million steps away from Sharon to get yourself a glass of water.

At the stall for food and drinks, your shoulder brushes with Bucky’s and you drop your cup, the water splashing everywhere and all over Bucky. Bucky in turn also drops his cup of coffee, the hot liquid gushing all over you as well.

“Oh shit,” you curse as you grab some napkins to dry the stains on Bucky’s shirt, more worried about his water stains than the hot coffee stains on yours.

“Nah, don’t worry doll,” he chuckles, amused that you got so flustered by a bit of water. “Let’s go to wardrobe to change. You do know where it is, don’t you? Because I don’t and otherwise we’re lost.”

That playful, boyish glint in his eyes has an instant impact on your feelings. “Yeah, I do. Follow me.”

“That was some fine acting, Y/N. I heard you were very talented but now I got to act alongside of you, I got a taste of true talent myself.”

A small smile graces your lips as you’re turning into a red tomato after receiving such a huge compliment. “Thank you. I couldn’t help but think I’ve seen you somewhere before. Is there any chance you were in Royals? The king’s son?”

Clicking his tongue and scratching the back of his neck with a shy look, he holds the door open and lets you walk in first. “Yeah, that’s me alright. Your next question will probably be if I’m gay, right? Since my character was gay and I did such a good job…”

After finding yourself a fresh shirt and jacket, you notice Bucky is standing with his back to you, shirtless. He’s changing into a new shirt too, giving you some privacy so you can do the same. “So are you? Gay?,” you call over your shoulder to your new co-star.

“I can assure you that I am a full 100% bisexual,” he winks once you’re fully dressed again and he can turn around. His reply inspires a tiny burst of happiness in your heart, as you’re obviously not entirely oblivious to his good looks and his charms.

Offering his arm to you to escort you back to the others, you gladly accept. “Can I ask you a question, too, doll? Is it true what they say about you and Steve Rogers?”

Instantly it’s like hell has frozen over. “People say a lot of things, Bucky. You gotta be more specific,” you say in a soft voice, avoiding his eyes.

Before you’re close enough so the others might hear you, Bucky comes to a halt and searches your eyes. “Did you really threaten to cut his balls off if he tried to kiss you again?”

His grave tone and neutral expression prompt a hearty laugh from your throat, bubbling up from deep in your chest. “Yes, I did, “you confirm the rumour, still quite proud you managed to finally make it clear to Steve that you weren’t interested and never will be.

Natasha waves you over, a sign that they’re starting filming again, and you walk alongside Bucky back to the crowd. Before you party ways, Bucky being called back to the patio and piano, he leans in very close to whisper into your ear. “I’m looking forward to teaching you how to play the piano, Harley.”

“Playing the piano?” You shoot him a confused look. “For the show? No-one told me I had to learn how to play the piano for the show.”

“I’m not talking about learning how to play the piano for the show, doll. Wanda told me about your resolutions for 2018. I believe learning the piano is one of them?”

Of course it was Wanda who told him. “In that case, I’m looking forward to it too then,” you smile warmly back at him, a skip in both your step as you resume your respective places.

A day of non-stop filming with only a half hour lunch break will leave you completely exhausted at the end of the day. Especially now, when Peggy insisted on filming the closing scene for the next episode early because “the light was just perfect and she wants perfection and nothing less”.

The point of this scene is actually really simple. Brady finds out his father has a child with his high school sweetheart and that this child is August, an aspiring musician and big flirt, hellbent on winning Harley. In this scene Brady and Harley stand outside on his parents’ porch while August and Brady’s father are having a father-and-long-lost-son moment inside the house. It’s Christmas Eve and Brady is having a hard time accepting his big brother. Harley is there to convince him she loves Brady and not August and that she’ll stick by his side no matter what.

It’s so cliché and filled to the brim with tooth-rotting fluff you feel you might vomit into Steve’s mouth before you get the change to make out. “I love you, baby,” you coo innocently as you cup Brady/Steve’s face in your hands, bringing his lips to yours in a sweet, chaste kiss.

When you part away, Brady/Steve looks into your eyes as his tongue speaks words of adoration, eyes gazing lovingly into yours like you’re the only woman in the whole world. “I don’t know what I would do without you, Harley.” The scene ends with another kiss before you intertwine your fingers and head back inside to make amends with August.

When Peggy calls it a day and everyone is excused, Steve’s attitude towards you changes immediately. He commands one of the assistants to give him a tissue to wipe his mouth while grimacing in your direction. “God, I can’t wait until you break up with me because you’ve got feelings for August. Will spare me the agony of kissing you again.”

With a scoff, you turn your back on him and walk up to Natasha. “If this were a movie, I would totally have chosen him. Brady is the perfect guy. Steve on the other hand… he’s just a big jerk,” the actress snarls as she pulls you with her to the locker room.

You offer her a kind smile when she hands you a sandwich to munch, figuring you must be hungry. “Fortunately, we have Bucky now to feast our eyes on.”

“Yes, indeed,” you chuckle softly, wrapping your arm around Nat’s shoulder.

PART II/II

Tag list: @melconnor2007 @learisa @mrshopkirk @dont-speak-just-read @buckyappreciationsociety @beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep @lovemarvelousfics @pleasantdreamqueen @petersunderroos @movingonto-betterthings @palaiasaurus64 @ssweet-empowerment @lovemarvelousfics @rrwilson66 @petersunderroos @reniescarlett @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @barnes-heaven @that-sokovian-bastard @abovethesmokestacks @marvelrevival @marvel-fanfiction @justanotherbuckydevotee @barnes-heaven @heartmade-writingbucky @buckyywiththegoodhair @captnbarnesrogers @a-little-hell-to-raise @knittingknerdy @winterboobaer @hymnofthevalkyrie @feelmyroarrrr @justareader @howlingbarnes @themcuhasruinedme @buchananbarnestrash @hollycornish @delicatecapnerd @tomhollandzs @aletheladyinred @xbergiex @promarvelfangirl @capbuckybuchanan @pegasusdragontiger @salty-holographic-stickers @sebstanchrisevanchickforever19 @autijahnerd13s-blahg @sophiealiice @sarahmatthews7 @lumelgy @kudosia @daringtodreamawake @moonbeambucky @suz-123 @breezy1415 @always-an-evans-addict @thegreentgirl @yourtropegirl @4theluvofall @curvybihufflepuff @caplansteverogers @amrita31199 @isnt-the-blog-youre-looking-for @pineapplebooboo @thefridgeismybestie @supernatural508 @supernaturaldean67@cant-decide-at-this-moment @mehrmonga @specs15 @kanupps06 @imnotinsanehunny @sarahgracej @jasura @nerdyandproud9 @geeksareunique @jesspfly @badassbaker @whenallsaidanddone @ailynalonso15 @thebookisbtr @animechick725 @wheneggsymetbucky

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mrstransformersfanfiction · 3 years ago

Text

Sometimes people need to make it clear in authors note on archive of our own before author presume on their fics before people assume? I certainly don't care your opinion about me as a writer. No one is perfect in writing. I'm proud to be English as a second language writer. 📚✍️

So what that I have grammar mistake? Do I nit pick your work to say is not perfect? I don't do that because as a writer I think is critical you look at the plot, middle and end. Beginning middle and end. Worry about the grammar last. I use to write really bad fics when I was young full of mistakes until I picked up a book to improve myself.

I am a lot better than I was 11 years old. And I was obsessed with stationary and read books.

I don't judge. If you always care what people say about you you're not going to go far. Be who you are. Let them call you what they want you to be in their own mind. I suddenly realised this before I asked: why am I the one apologising?

Same reason when I accepted a friend for simply who they are. I don't care if you're a pansexual or bisexual, trans, bigender. She/her, them/they. Everyone is who they want to be at the end of the day. Like I always tell you, just be you. Why you want to be like someone else? I'm too old for this shit you know? When you reach my age, trust me, you would get tired aft too. 📚

So long people understand certain points across. I would try from my part for communication and if all else fails, then by all means, seriously fuck it. I certainly won't try for you anymore.

I am the type of person that takes a step back and observe. I met people with crazy attitudes before. In regards on calling me a reduntant and as well as calling me a whinning baby, first impression are so important. You're not in your 30s+ age. So that's why I say I'm an old fart so laugh it up bitches. 📚💜 You think you're the only one who's perfect English and want to boast on it? No one in this world is perfect. I definitely don't intend to offend people in gender writing. And as said, you got to make it clear.

People might not understand your community like I do. Nor do I expect a fast reply from people. You think you might run into people like me that doesn't recognised the community but can learn? People can learn. Like I say, I don't care what you are so long you're just here to leisure, write to your heart content 💜 and just be you, sit back and relax.

I write for a reason and some people can't always think is just from their point of view. Some people got to see where others are coming from. I have a bad habit of flipping out, out on panic attack. We're humans for a reason and we make mistake. Mistakes are healthy because we all learned from it.

That saying, I really hope people on archive of our own doesn't get too pissed off with me. Because I hope I got my point across too. Between the sarcasm and rudeness, perhaps both parties also have to sit back and think through too before responding before further misunderstanding.

This is why sometimes I don't bother with some communication because it depends on people. It really does. Whether they want to or not because I am willing to walk out too.

#archive of our own #fanfiction #transformers #writer venting #writers on Tumblr

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dudleyguildford · 7 years ago

Note

Millie what's your fave soft robron scene and your fave Ryan Best Actor Hawley Scene ? xx

ooh DAMN SON

coming at me with the perfect asks on this fine thursday afternoon 😍😍

is it all right to start off with a few runners up because i feel like i can’t just launch straight in with the winner y’know?

so! runners up for favourite soft!robron scene are…….

1. HOME FARM ESKIMO KISS !!!!!!!!!!!! this doesn’t need an explanation it’s literally just soft boys being soft in soft dressing gowns like it honestly just screams SOFT

2. LAKESIDE ‘I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU’ CONVERSATION - dear lord what a fucking scene that was….. it basically had everything i could have ever wanted for them. boys being soft? ✔️ robert confessing he still loves aaron ✔️ aaron being all hopeful and shocked ✔️ robert doing the right thing and not pushing aaron ✔️ “I’LL WAIT FOR YOU” ✔️ THEM AGREEING TO GIVE IT A PROPER CHANCE ONCE EVERYTHING’S FINISHED AHAHAHAHA ✔️

it’s all perfect and beautiful and there’s basically nothing that can top this scene….. except one……

the winner of the ultimate soft robron scene has to go to….. *drumroll*

ROBERT AND AARON’S SOBBING SNUGGLE FEST ON THE BENCH AFTER THE WEDDING

wait… is that soft actually? maybe it’s just a shit tonne of angst but idc because as the iconic sinead o’ connor said/sang: NOTHING COMPARES TO U

and that’s how i feel about this scene

i mean…. nothing beats this scene right? not just as the best soft!robron scene but… as the best scene ever… because i don’t see how anything tops this. it’s just the two of them being all sad but in love and comforting each other through all the pain to come…. IT’S FUCKING BEAUTIFUL I’M CRYING

no no no ok i have to break this down because it means way too much to me. so for a start it’s basically the most bittersweet scene in all of robron because they’re finally happy but tomorrow they’re entire universe (aka each other) is going to be destroyed. so from that perspective i am already on board, but let’s just do a quick recap of some of the best moments in that scene (all of it):

robert thanking aaron for coming to his aid when diane mentioned jack (I AM SO GLAD IT WAS RECOGNISED I AM SO GLAD IT HAPPENED I FEEL #BLESSED)

MR DINGLE / MR SUGDEN BANTER !!!!!!!!!!

the fact that 2 seconds after that aaron went all wobbly and asked them to stay outside for a minute and robert PUT ON HIS SOFT VOICE AND I DIED

the fact 2.0 that robert knows aaron so well, better than anyone, so even though aaron was saying he was fine and dandy, robert could tell he was bluffing

“I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE YOU” / “I DON’T WANT YOU TO GO”

ROBERT LITERALLY DETAILING THEIR FUTURE LIKE “AND THEN YOU’LL COME HOME TO ME AND WE’LL NEVER LOOK BACK” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THIS. FUCKING. HUG:

basically everything about that scene is perfection and you if you want to fight me on it then don’t bother because i’m right

NOW ONTO MY GANGLY AWKWARD ABERCROMBIE MODEL SON

uggghhhh i don’t even know which one to pick why would you ask this of me jesus

no it’s fine… i mean all his scenes are quality, even the bad ones lmao, but in terms of the very very best ryan ‘king of my heart’ hawley has to offer….

the runners up go to:

1. “LAWRENCE FAKED TWO HEART ATTACKS TRYING TO COME BETWEEN US! HE RUINED MY MUM’S MEMORIAL PRETENDING HE WAS ILL!!!!!!” no joke, i recorded the audio of this scene and have it on my phone… that’s how much i love it. and it only has a smidge to do with the fact that ryan’s angry voice makes me feel Things 😍 seriously i know this is such a small insignificant scene but i loved it, i loved how ryan acted it, i love basically any scene where ryan gets to showcase that ~rage and basically confirm what i already knew: that he and clive hornby are one and the same and so the sugden legacy continues 😌😌😌

2. ROBERT COMES OUT AS BISEXUAL AND BASICALLY SINGLE-HANDEDLY SAVES 2K16

do i even need to explain this one ?????? it goes without saying that ryan put everything he had into this scene, it was a thing of pure, raw, emotional beauty and i am so grateful to him for it.

the scene itself was perfect but the way ryan approached it was just… jaw dropping tbh. his performance was so quiet and understated - he could have gone over the top, he could have had the full waterworks on, but he didn’t do that? he made it so authentically robert and that’s why i adored it so much

he stripped back all the drama and the fanfare and he made the entire scene just about his character and all the overwhelming feelings he was experiencing. it’s genuinely something i’ll never forget watching, he knocked it out of the fucking park

but his crowning glory has to be………

CHICKEN 2.0 !!!!!!!!

yes all right my sugden family comes first even above robron so of course i chose this as his best scene…. but actually even if i wasn’t majorly biased, i’d still pick it over everything else

this is the sugden brothers at their best… i mean i loved their goodbye scene as much as the next fan but, there really is nothing like those early feud days is there? and chicken 2.0 kicks every other scene in the teeth tbh

so lets break it down pals!!!!!

“STOP LYING…. YOU LIAR!!!!” sorry ok this isn’t even in the scene but lmao ROBERT DUDE COME UP WITH BETTER INSULTS YOU SPANNER

THE FACT THE ENTIRE SCENE TOOK PLACE ON THE SAME STRETCH OF ROAD THAT CHICKEN 1.0 HAPPENED OH MY GOD THE HISTORY OF IT

the look on robert’s face when andy admitted he tried to kill him…. oh god ryan slayed me with that tiny minuscule shake of the head just kill me now

“i wanted you to die” ROBERT’S FACE CHRIST DRIVING A RUSTED FUCKING CROWBAR THROUGH MY CHEST WOULD HURT LESS JUST LOOK AT HIS FACE WHEN ANDY SAYS THAT AND TELL ME HIS HEART WASN’T RIPPING ITSELF TO SHREDS

“you really hate me that much?” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ROBERT’S INDIGNANCE WHEN ANDY ACCUSED HIM OF KILLING KATIE LIKE DUDE YOU SHOVED HER THROUGH THE FLOOR YOU CANNOT TAKE THE MORAL HIGH GROUND RIGHT NOW

no seriously the whole “i didn’t kill- you know what, i’m fed up of telling you… it was an accident. YOU WANNA BELIEVE I KILLED HER - FINE, I KILLED THE BITCH!!!!” like damn that just takes the motherfucking biscuit, don’t it? ryan just channelled all the pent up frustration and rage so well there it makes me quiver lmao

“YOU COWARD” oh boy oh boy do i love the delivery of this line…. how many times have i repeated it? idek but more than 100, less than 1,000,000… somewhere in that ballpark. honestly it amazes me how ryan can play such a vast range of emotions but nothing astounds me more than when he goes full-on anger

THIS ISN’T EXACTLY ABOUT RYAN’S ACTING BUT THE FACT THEY BROUGHT UP MAX AND WILSON’S FIELD JUST GIVES ME ALL THE HISTORIC SUGDEN FEELS AND I HAD TO MENTION IT

aaaaaand then we get to robert struggling not to cry when andy brings up jack and i immediately want to smash my head off a wall :))))))) seriously ryan does this the best - the anger is impressive don’t get me wrong, but this inner-turmoil he presents robert as having between what he feels and what he shows is just outstanding. he does it so fucking well every. single. time.

ryan’s acting career just completely levelled up the minute he embraced the full Pain of robert sugden’s tragic childhood and started talking about his parents, i mean…. look at this:

WHAT A SAD GOLDEN RETRIEVER HE IS WITH HIS SAD FLOPPY HAIR

ryan just kills it with his delivery, from talking about jack - “which part? the bit where he put all the blame on me? or the bit where he called me a lunatic and told me to just drive away forever and don’t come back????” - to when he finally addressed the grief robert still felt over the loss of his mother - “you…. killed mum…. and he helped you. max dies and he… he decides to send me away”

what else can i say really? everything about it was perfect - the scene itself but ryan’s acting more than anything else. for me, that was the moment i realised he really was robert sugden, not just some actor brought in to play him. this was where ryan proved his worth, and he’s just gone from strength to strength since then 😌

OK ANON THAT’S IT I GUESS!! I’M SO SORRY FOR MAKING THIS SO LONG AND INCOHERENT BUT AS YOU CAN SEE I HAVE A LOT OF ~EMOTIONS AND I NEEDED TO GET IT ALL OUT LMAO. LOVE YOU LOTS 💖💖💖💖

#LONG POST #no seriously i cannot stress this enough #it is so fucking long lmao #robron #robert sugden #aaron dingle #ask: anon

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